ot: how to conquer a planet or planetoid?

Mistara

empire building is tough work.

i imagine you'd need a few hospital ships.

no foot soldiers, they're riding like anti-gravity roman quadriga. or anti-gravity santa sleigh, retextured! and anti-gravity boots!!

do you put your immortal fighters in the front line or do you hold them back to support groups in the tight fighting?

is really a lot to think it through

:) ergo cognito

Knight22179

Doncha know? Send in the pawns first, the expendables. Then do a pincer move and flank your enemy with your best troops. ;)

Lissa_xyz

Knight22179 said:

Doncha know? Send in the pawns first, the expendables. Then do a pincer move and flank your enemy with your best troops. ;)

Pretend you're playing wizard's chess. =P

Mistara

oh yeah! forgot about the flanking pincer. lol

lessee. it's an M class planet. space pirate warlords live there.

murgatroyd314

Drop rocks from orbit, then send in the troops to mop up what's left.

Mistara

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SpacePirates
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PlanetLooters

-tee hee heee

sriesch

Step 1: Spuggles.
Step 2:
Step 3: Complete global domination.

ghastlycomic

Depends upon what exactly your intentions are for the planet and what your technology level is compared to the people you're trying to conquer. If it's important to leave the planet habitable after you conquer it (ie. you're not just going to send bots down to strip mine it) then I'd grab some asteroids from the system's asteroid belt and start lobbing them into the oceans. Presumably if you plan to inhabit the planet you'll want to preserve as much of its ecosystem as possible. Most of the populations probably live near the coast so dropping some asteroids in the ocean near the coasts will cause tidal waves to destroy most of the native settlements. Non-costal areas you can pelt with tungsten "rods from gods". This will destroy cities but not irradiate the planet. Then send in the robots to clean up the rest.

Of course that's a pretty old fashioned, messy way to conquer a planet.

If I were a sufficiently advanced alien life form determined to conquer a world I would simply, quietly, and secretively release nanobots into the environment that would rewrite the ecosystem to be one optimal to my species survival and eliminate all threatening species.

Jaderail

Step one: Drop outa hyper space.
Step two: Drop planet Buster on FIRED power dive.
Step back and watch the issue go POOF!!
Hyper back out and let navy mop up any left over ships.

WendyLuvsCatz

....................build an intergalactic highway with Earth (substitute planet/oid of choice) in the path?

Morpheon

It depends: do you want to conquer the planet intact (or at least, relatively so), or are you simply interested in taking it away from the enemy? The second option is much simpler. For example, if you really wanted to conquer the Earth, set up a base on the Moon, start quarrying lunar rock, rig up a mass driver or two, and bomb the planet into submission. Or maybe set up a bunch of orbital mirrors to capture the Sun's rays, directing them like a little kid with a magnifying glass and an anthill.

Sockratease

Threaten to withhold The Millennium Cow from their planet.

You should have an Unconditional Surrender within hours.

Mistara

ir's an M class planet.

there's a possibility the pirates will poison the water and 'salt' the fields. haz to conquer the planet before those awful deeds.

surprise attack? but how do you creep up on a planet? there's no handy creap up bushes to hide behind? cloaking devices?
err, the pirates have cloaking devices but the Empire ships don't. those cloaking doodadds will need nuetralizing first.

Ryuu@AMcCF

Misty Whisky said:

ir's an M class planet.

there's a possibility the pirates will poison the water and 'salt' the fields. haz to conquer the planet before those awful deeds.

surprise attack? but how do you creep up on a planet? there's no handy creap up bushes to hide behind? cloaking devices?
err, the pirates have cloaking devices but the Empire ships don't. those cloaking doodadds will need nuetralizing first.

Oh, ick! Sounds like the pirates have the tactical and technilogical advantage with their cloaks. Oh, well--Jaderail's solution sounds best at this point: turn the planet into molten slag before the pirates can get mobilized...at least you'd have a shot at taking the majority of their forces out before they can escape...tough luck for the planet. But at least there's plenty more out there in the galaxy :evil:

oh, btw, on a related note: never, ever, use THIER satelite network to coordinate your attack on their cities. Always bring your own comm satelites!

zigraphix

So... you want to take this habitable planet away from some space pirate warlords who are likely to be sore losers, and you still want it to have a habitable ecosystem afterwards?

Are the space pirate warlords the same species as the empire? If not, I'd favor a tailored bioagent. Give 'em all the plague. Something like cholera could wipe out the planetary population in a matter of days, if you have the right vector. Aerosol bombs into a few major weather systems ought to do it. Even if they are the same species as the empire, a quarantine period of a year or so should be enough for your bioagent to die down enough to move in, once the pirates are all dead. Just be sure the secret of the vaccine doesn't leak out to the pirates before the attack. ;)

Be careful if you're planning to take their computers out with malware, though-- unless they all use a completely different operating system than the empire. You will need to deal with the computers, though, or the warlords will probably leave behind a doomsday device that will blow up the planet or something if they lose.

(Erm... I really have to ask... I know this is a conflict between an empire and presumably nefarious space pirate warlords, but has diplomacy been tried yet? Or economic incentives? Or even old-fashioned bribery?)

Mistara

using Malware through their own satellites is a bad idea?

*/sounds of crumpling cellulose hitting a dust bin\*

invasion planners are checking out this vehicle for a first wave attack, but doesn't seem to open up to let the soldiers in
http://www.daz3d.com/auto-gyro
unless the windscreen is actually a forcefield that turns off?

agent unawares

zigraphix said:

Are the space pirate warlords the same species as the empire? If not, I'd favor a tailored bioagent. Give 'em all the plague. Something like cholera could wipe out the planetary population in a matter of days, if you have the right vector. Aerosol bombs into a few major weather systems ought to do it. Even if they are the same species as the empire, a quarantine period of a year or so should be enough for your bioagent to die down enough to move in, once the pirates are all dead. Just be sure the secret of the vaccine doesn't leak out to the pirates before the attack. ;)

If only the smilies worked. Words alone cannot describe the grin I just had.

And I feel perhaps I should not have admitted that.

Stories that touch on bioweapons rather than sticking more ordinary ones are my favorite. Especially in a sci-fi setting; there's a lot more room to work with clever ideas.

Fuseling

Quite plainly the people you see inside it in the promos are holograms. So, you get a few of those vehicles, diddle with the hologram projector to place some kind of cake or booty or something pirates might want inside, and then you can sneak up on the pirates after they decloak to try and figure out how to get inside your decoy vehicles. It would totally work.

zigraphix

Misty Whisky said:

invasion planners are checking out this vehicle for a first wave attack, but doesn't seem to open up to let the soldiers in
http://www.daz3d.com/auto-gyro
unless the windscreen is actually a forcefield that turns off?

Actually the windscreen comes in four segments, each slightly flexible, and the top two can roll down around the long axis to allow entry. ;)

I think for an invasion you want to know if it comes in black, though. Candy-apple red just doesn't strike fear into the hearts of pirates that well. ;)

It would make a good crop duster for those bioagents I was talking about, though!

zigraphix

Agent_Unawares said:

Stories that touch on bioweapons rather than sticking more ordinary ones are my favorite. Especially in a sci-fi setting; there's a lot more room to work with clever ideas.

On the other hand, memetic strategies are all the rage in the Lesser Magellanic Cloud these days. Subliminal inserts in news programming or ads, subsonic tones in pop music, fashion designs that mimic Empire uniforms and traditions... capture the minds of the youth and the rest is history.... ;)

namffuak

zigraphix said:

Agent_Unawares said:

Stories that touch on bioweapons rather than sticking more ordinary ones are my favorite. Especially in a sci-fi setting; there's a lot more room to work with clever ideas.

On the other hand, memetic strategies are all the rage in the Lesser Magellanic Cloud these days. Subliminal inserts in news programming or ads, subsonic tones in pop music, fashion designs that mimic Empire uniforms and traditions... capture the minds of the youth and the rest is history.... ;)

And what better way to do the capture than the one-two punch of info-pollen and blipverts! (mixing my media here :-) )

Mistara

i can't remember which way the defcons go, 5 --> 1 or 1 --> 5? i guess 3 would = yellow alert?

how many years since the wargames movie :) "would you like to play ay game?"

Target Planet : Tarraconensis

the pirates have hostages and they know we know, and we know they know we know, ... hd scr'ch lost track of who knows what.

zigraphix

Misty Whisky said:

i can't remember which way the defcons go, 5 --> 1 or 1 --> 5? i guess 3 would = yellow alert?

how many years since the wargames movie :) "would you like to play ay game?"

You've forgotten the classic movie "Defcon 4." But apparently it was misnamed anyway: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DefconFive and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DEFCON

Mistara

i haven't seen that movie, will keep a lookout for it :D

been having a yearn to watch Starship Troopers trilogy, was gonna order it last week, but ended up ordering Marvel's The Avengers instead.

wuh? starship troopers: invasion - godrays break through the thunderstorm outside my window.
i'm a glutten for this stuff.
or mebbe sluht is a better descriptor. widescreen hd, hocker-sure in hand, sciiifiiif, and buppy next to me - happiness

says starship troopers: invasion is animated, do the mean anime or like ff style cg? what s/w did they use? googliefooo

Knight22179

Or introduce a Virus on the planet that has a life cycle of one week. Put it in the water supply, then watch as the virus changes every man into a woman. Then hire the Orions from Star Trek to enslave them and take them away. Once the Virus dies, move in. :)

jim_mccord_6ece389e6e

Nuke them from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

zigraphix

Sambril said:

Nuke them from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

I knew someone was going to say that. I bet you own stock in Nuka Cola. ;)

Mistara

tee hee

that was Sigourney's line from Aliens 2, yes?

was playing with alphabase. what not to wear for an invasion, */giggles\*

and how not to wear a stilsuit, tee hee heee

Mistara

Knight22179 said:

Or introduce a Virus on the planet that has a life cycle of one week. Put it in the water supply, then watch as the virus changes every man into a woman. Then hire the Orions from Star Trek to enslave them and take them away. Once the Virus dies, move in. :)

or even worse, make them into Onion slave girls :)

Knight22179

Misty Whisky said:

Knight22179 said:

Or introduce a Virus on the planet that has a life cycle of one week. Put it in the water supply, then watch as the virus changes every man into a woman. Then hire the Orions from Star Trek to enslave them and take them away. Once the Virus dies, move in. :)

or even worse, make them into Onion slave girls :)

That would work too. ;)

jim_mccord_6ece389e6e

zigraphix said:

Sambril said:

Nuke them from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

I knew someone was going to say that. I bet you own stock in Nuka Cola. ;)

No, Weyland-Yutani :)

tee hee

that was Sigourney's line from Aliens 2, yes?

You win a cookie :D