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Joe CotterJoe Cotter Posts: 3,259
edited December 1969 in The Commons

After three years of being a caregiver, my mother has passed. I know many people in this community face challenges either as personal medical challenges, as caregivers, or in some cases both. I wanted to take a minute to say that my thoughts and Prayers go out to you today as I pause to take a minute's breath.

Comments

  • SickleYieldSickleYield Posts: 7,644
    edited December 1969

    I would like to offer my own best wishes and prayers. I don't know what it's like to lose a parent, but I have been a caregiver, and it is a tough job. Having that suddenly over must have very mixed emotions for you, and I'm sure that makes it tougher as well. Please be well.

  • frank0314frank0314 Posts: 14,263
    edited December 1969

    Gedd said:
    After three years of being a caregiver, my mother has passed. I know many people in this community face challenges either as personal medical challenges, as caregivers, or in some cases both. I wanted to take a minute to say that my thoughts and Prayers go out to you today as I pause to take a minute's breath.

    So sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself though. It is always difficult to lose a loved one.

  • Kismet2012Kismet2012 Posts: 4,252
    edited December 1969

    Gedd said:
    After three years of being a caregiver, my mother has passed. I know many people in this community face challenges either as personal medical challenges, as caregivers, or in some cases both. I wanted to take a minute to say that my thoughts and Prayers go out to you today as I pause to take a minute's breath.

    You have my deepest condolences. Being a caregiver can be challenging. I would like to add my own best wishes and prayers.

  • SylvanSylvan Posts: 2,718
    edited November 2013

    Strength to you and your family

    Post edited by Sylvan on
  • Miss BMiss B Posts: 3,071
    edited December 1969

    So sorry to hear of your loss Gedd. My thoughts and sympathies go out to you and your family, and as has been said, take care of yourself.

  • Dino GrampsDino Gramps Posts: 0
    edited December 1969

    My prayers are with you and your family. Be sure to take care of yourself. Grief over a loss is sneaky.

  • JaderailJaderail Posts: 0
    edited December 1969

    May the light shine on you and your loved ones.

    I have been on both sides now, I was my Mothers care giver for 5 years. Now I myself have a 24/7 caretaker due to my health. I respect all that give of themselves for others. The world is a better place thanks to those that care.

  • IndigoJansonIndigoJanson Posts: 1,100
    edited December 1969

    You will have a lot going on but take time to treat yourself kindly, Gedd. Adding my own sympathy and thoughts for you and your loved ones.

  • TrishTrish Posts: 2,625
    edited December 1969

    I am sorry for your loss......my thoughts and prayers are with you....Trish

  • SimonJMSimonJM Posts: 5,997
    edited December 1969

    Never an easy thing, you and your family have my sympathy.

  • Joe CotterJoe Cotter Posts: 3,259
    edited December 1969

    Thank you everyone for all of the kind thoughts.

  • angoraangora Posts: 7
    edited December 1969

    my heart goes out to you! my sincerest condolences!! wishing you all the strength -and rest- you need...

    (been there, done that -more than once-, therefore can imagine how you must feel?)


    do you know that Love IS stronger than death? sincerely hope you will experience that too...
    take care -of u-!

    http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/do-not-stand-at-my-grave-and-weep/

  • NovicaNovica Posts: 23,905
    edited December 1969

    Long distance hugs from Florida, and thinking of you in the wee hours of the morning and all the feelings that must be bombarding you. Praying for not only you, but all of the friends and family who also share your loss. Memories will hopefully help ease the pain a bit as you have what you shared tucked into that special place in your heart.
    Cathie

  • Ryuu@AMcCFRyuu@AMcCF Posts: 693
    edited December 1969

    Sincere condolences, Gedd. But please keep in mind, so long as you remember her, she still lives in your heart.

  • Scott LivingstonScott Livingston Posts: 4,344
    edited December 1969

    Very sorry for your loss, Gedd. Wishing strength and peace to you and your family.

  • RAMWolffRAMWolff Posts: 10,231
    edited December 1969

    My condolences to you and your family for your loss. It's hard to loose someone so close. HUGS

  • Takeo.KenseiTakeo.Kensei Posts: 1,303
    edited December 1969

    My condolence to you and your family Gedd. Best thoughts

  • McGyverMcGyver Posts: 7,066
    edited December 1969

    My condolences for your loss.

  • Joe CotterJoe Cotter Posts: 3,259
    edited December 1969

    I was thinking it was a week later, but looking at the original post date it ends up it's two... time distortion. I just wanted to say again, thank you everyone, the thoughts and prayers have helped.

  • McGyverMcGyver Posts: 7,066
    edited November 2013

    I really want to say something that would cheer you up...
    On my world... I mean where I come from, it is customary to try and use humor to combat grief... and pain... and in some cases really annoying politicians and household pests.
    Unfortunately, in many cases people have thought I'm being flippant... I really don't know why they think I'm a dolphin from a 60s TV adventure show, but that is just one of those things that happens occasionally.
    I'd love to share some comforting wisdom, but since I'm relatively bereft of wisdom in any form, pretty much the best I can do is offer you something I learned yesterday... "Don't run down a flight of stairs that someone has removed the steps from"... I really don't see how that could be of any use to you at the moment, but maybe one day, you might encounter a situation where that is applicable.
    I personally will be making a "post it" note about that one for myself.
    Sorry... I don't mean to inflict my wisdom on you... well, actually since I have none, you are safe in that regard. I just wanted you to know that you are being thought of... not constantly, that would just be creepy, but in a totally legal, healthy sort of way.
    Nothing that will require another restraining order or anything.
    I know that the majority of the people who have clicked on this thread or have replied here, wish you the best and care about you (in a totally non-creepy, we never met you, but like you as a fellow sentient being and only wish you the best, sort of way)... (well except for that guy who clicked on the wrong thread and then felt all guilty and ran off)... (he's a terrible person... shame on him)... Damn... I forgot what I was going to say...
    It was really nice... Hallmark card nice... not one of those 99¢ store cards "nice"... Those are terrible... they don't even make sense most of the time...
    "Sorry for you loss"(on the front).... (on inside) "At life manny thing can bad happen thing. You so sad. Don't bee! Bee happy now! Bee tall."
    That was really the worst condolence card I ever gave anyone.
    I didn't like them all that much anyway... but it was a pretty bad card... but it was for the loss of their Cockatiel, whom I really hated because he used to bite me all the time... the bird, not the the girl who owned him... she only bit me once and I probably deserved it...
    My uncle always used to tell me "Never grab another person's pork chop"... I always thought that was more of a metaphor or a euphemism... but I guess it turned out to be wisdom.
    He drank a lot and was a bit of a pervert, so it was really hard tell what he was talking about... actually he wasn't really my uncle either... but I did pass him on the corner near where I worked and his colorful rantings kind of made him grow on you... not literally... like a bad fungus or anything... but you know, eventually he was like family. Not real family... just those "crazy people who shout things at strangers" kinda family.
    You know... when I say that out loud... it sounds kinda crazy.
    Ah, most of what I think comes across that way when verbalized, written in bold print or stated at trial.
    Damn it... I think I'm doing that again. Not the dolphin thing, the straying from the point thing...
    I guess what I was trying to say was... In situations like this, its never easy, I (we... everyone here who isn't a heartless puppy eating bast*ard) hope you are doing better... it will take time, but hang in there... you have the best wishes of your friends here, behind you. Be well.
    With a bit more syntax error and bad grammar, that could be a 99¢ store card.
    Sorry... you deserve more than a squashed Cockatiel.
    You deserve Hallmark level condolence and clearly I suck at that.
    I should probably stop writing now...
    Be well Gedd... we all wish you the best.


    Boy,do I suck at condolence... I even mentioned the stupid flat cockatiel again.

    Side note... Properly dried flattened cockatiels make excellent trivets.


    Bye.

    Post edited by McGyver on
  • Joe CotterJoe Cotter Posts: 3,259
    edited December 1969

    Thanks for the thoughts :)

  • andolaurinaandolaurina Posts: 673
    edited December 1969

    Hugs & prayers for you, Gedd. So sorry to hear about your loss.

  • BobvanBobvan Posts: 2,652
    edited December 1969

    I can relate my dad passed on oct 26th I miss him very much

  • NovicaNovica Posts: 23,905
    edited November 2013

    Bobvan, I hope you are also finding ways to find solace as well. Gedd, been thinking about you.
    There is a lovely, lovely poem that all our family members request to be read at their funerals- it is titled En Voyage and is breathtaking. I am always the one reading it and every time it just gets to me. I have a copy of the original version with the old English scroll print, and a clipper ship. This isn't as majestic in graphics or the way it is printed, but I thought you might enjoy it. It has nothing to do with the person being nautical, such as being in the Navy (we are not, we are Coast Guard/Army, but the relatives were not military) it just uses ocean terms and is very peaceful. What an image- the last lines make me cry every time. Hope it helps.

    http://www.oocities.org/uss_sumter/prayers_poems.htm#En Voyage

    Post edited by Novica on
  • BobvanBobvan Posts: 2,652
    edited December 1969

    Thanks he was ill for quite a while but still...

  • Joe CotterJoe Cotter Posts: 3,259
    edited December 1969

    Warm wishes Bob (and prayers in my own way.) One thing about when one is dying over time, either with a chronic illness, dementia, or otherwise... there tend to be multiple 'little deaths' that happen as things progress, so the mourning takes place in stages for some of us.

  • Miss BMiss B Posts: 3,071
    edited December 1969

    Sorry to hear of your loss as well Bob. I lost my mom and dad 20 and 32 years ago, respectively, and I still miss them at times, especially around the holidays.

  • Dr StupidDr Stupid Posts: 313
    edited December 1969

    Only just noticed this thread. Condolences and best wishes to Gedd and Bobvan. I too was a full time carer for my mother until she passed so can relate.

    And Miss B I know what you mean. Although my parents' passing was much more recent, I think of them every day and the emotional reactions change over time. What once were causes of pain are now sources of strength.

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