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Vitruvian Exosuits - totally botched!

wizwiz Posts: 1,100
edited July 2020 in The Commons

Doesn't this Dajenkstra person know anything about futuristic armor?

  1. There's no decapitation gap! How is anyone going to cut your head off easily if your neck is uncovered. There's supposed to be a good 3 inch gap between the bottom of the helmet and the top of the suit. How will you explode in the vacuum of space if there's nothing open to vacuum?
  2. Where are the bright lights? Advanced exosuits require bright, glowing eyes, bright lights at elbows, shoulders, knees, feet, etc. How can the enemy target you easily if you're not lit up like a Christmas tree? How can you be stealthy without lots of lights to light your way in the darkness?
  3. And talk about serious flaws: there's no cleavage opening! How can you kill a female character with small caliber bullets, arrows, darts, or a good slingshot if there's not a decent gap in the armor over her heart? How will explosive decompression make the heart blast through the rib cage if the character is suddenly blown into space?
  4. The fingers don't have thick armor on their sides, just on the flexor and extensor surfaces. This makes the hands too comfortable, instead of keeping the fingers properly spread at all times. A modern character should not need to work equipment!
  5. There are no outrageous shoulder or neck guards. Proper space gear requires sholder guards (or better yet, just one shoulder guard) so large that the character can't raise their arm. There should be neck guards at least half head height, possibly taller than the head. It's not just a good idea: it's the law!
  6. The boots are totally flat! Female troopers (or males with a taste for such things) must have high heels. The higher the better! It's the future, dang it. How can women run well without high heels? How can anyone ride space horses across the hull of an imperial star destroyer without high heels to help them mount.
  7. Where are the helmet lights? The helmet should have a large, clear faceplate, with little lights shining into your face so the enemy can see you emoting. That whole thing about shining little lights into space-people's faces trashing their night vision is bull. We want helmet lights! We need helmet lights! We demand our helmet lights!
  8. There are two sets of cameras (sensors, whatever) on the VR version of the helmet, and they're spaced wide apart. What is a trooper going to do with depth perception? The eyes should be in a line down the center of the faceplate. Everybody knows that.

Note to the humor challenged: if you haven't picked up on the fact that all of the stuff above was sarcasm, may God, the Gods, the FSM, or our AI overlords have mercy on your soul.

Dajenkstra, you rock!

The Vitruvian exoxuits are realistic, yet cool. They were an instant buy. They're a big part of why I bought the Aliens vs. Troopers bundle.

Make more stuff!

I'm patient: I'm quite willing to wait until Friday. Maybe even next Monday.

 

Post edited by wiz on

Comments

  • shadowhawk1shadowhawk1 Posts: 2,201

    ROTFLMAO!!! +1 on everything you have said here. 

  • dajenkstadajenksta Posts: 17

    Thanks wiz, great post!

    I was really worried when I read the title! I'm so glad you like the suits, I'd better get going on the next project!

    Not sure if I can meet your Friday deadline though! 

    Thanks againwink

     

  • LeanaLeana Posts: 11,845
    wiz said:

    Doesn't this Dajenkstra person know anything about futuristic armor?

    1. There's no decapitation gap! How is anyone going to cut your head off easily if your neck is uncovered. There's supposed to be a good 3 inch gap between the bottom of the helmet and the top of the suit. How will you explode in the vacuum of space if there's nothing open to vacuum?
    2. Where are the bright lights? Advanced exosuits require bright, glowing eyes, bright lights at elbows, shoulders, knees, feet, etc. How can the enemy target you easily if you're not lit up like a Christmas tree? How can you be stealthy without lots of lights to light your way in the darkness?
    3. And talk about serious flaws: there's no cleavage opening! How can you kill a female character with small caliber bullets, arrows, darts, or a good slingshot if there's not a decent gap in the armor over her heart? How will explosive decompression make the heart blast through the rib cage if the character is suddenly blown into space?
    4. The fingers don't have thick armor on their sides, just on the flexor and extensor surfaces. This makes the hands too comfortable, instead of keeping the fingers properly spread at all times. A modern character should not need to work equipment!
    5. There are no outrageous shoulder or neck guards. Proper space gear requires sholder guards (or better yet, just one shoulder guard) so large that the character can't raise their arm. There should be neck guards at least half head height, possibly taller than the head. It's not just a good idea: it's the law!
    6. The boots are totally flat! Female troopers (or males with a taste for such things) must have high heels. The higher the better! It's the future, dang it. How can women run well without high heels? How can anyone ride space horses across the hull of an imperial star destroyer without high heels to help them mount.
    7. Where are the helmet lights? The helmet should have a large, clear faceplate, with little lights shining into your face so the enemy can see you emoting. That whole thing about shining little lights into space-people's faces trashing their night vision is bull. We want helmet lights! We need helmet lights! We demand our helmet lights!
    8. There are two sets of cameras (sensors, whatever) on the VR version of the helmet, and they're spaced wide apart. What is a trooper going to do with depth perception? The eyes should be in a line down the center of the faceplate. Everybody knows that.

    Exactly! How dare those outfits be actualy realistic! laugh

     

    Great work on those dajenksta yes

  • Oso3DOso3D Posts: 15,047

    The neck/helmet gap is definitely a pet peeve of mine.

    There have been some space suits with a notable gap which makes me really go what the heck.

     

  • DiomedeDiomede Posts: 15,225

    Great job on the scifi suit, @dajenksta.  The galaxy wherein my 3d assets reside is a little safer now that I've added the Vitruvian Exosuits.  Looking forward to more of your creations.

    Very funny post, @wiz.  

  • dajenkstadajenksta Posts: 17

    Thanks Shadowhawk1,Leana and Diomede, Enjoy, I hope the Vitruvian Army bring peace to your home world! I'll set the engineers to work on the next production.

  • GreybroGreybro Posts: 2,505

    Hilarious!

  • rrwardrrward Posts: 556

    Okay, it's a well done product, but it does have a serious pokethrough problem in the shoulders. I think a "hide the body from the neck down" pose might be in order.

  • brimstoneomegabrimstoneomega Posts: 343
    edited July 2020

    I love it! And so do Kayo and Kwan!

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  • tj_1ca9500btj_1ca9500b Posts: 2,057
    edited July 2020

    Say what now?  Everybody KNOWS that bikini armor is the best...

    Aiko Bikini Armor

    I shared this one a while back... This armor suit is a little OTT, as the skin to armor coverage ratio is quite high, but it just goes to show that even skimpwear armor is 100% effective in some people's minds in such situations...

     

    Seriously, though, those Vitruvian Exosuits are a major reason I'm interested in the Kwan 8 related bundles.

    They look like they'd be excellent stand-ins for the Dune Still Suits from the 1984 movie.

    And everything you itemized in your OP is essentially what I prefer when buying armor.  Usually, high heeled fantasy and sci-fi armor suits languish in my wishlist until they go on sale for really really cheap or there's some bundle sale deal that they happen to be in.  The more 'conservative' suits tend to be insta-buys or 'I don't mind spending more than I usually do' purchases, keeping in mind that I am willing to wait for really decent sales for the vast majority of what I buy these days.

    Carry on!

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    Post edited by tj_1ca9500b on
  • 3Diva3Diva Posts: 11,749
    dajenksta said:

    Thanks wiz, great post!

    I was really worried when I read the title! I'm so glad you like the suits, I'd better get going on the next project!

    Not sure if I can meet your Friday deadline though! 

    Thanks againwink

     

    This looks like a FANTASTIC outfit and perfect for a project I'm working on! THANK YOU for the awesome work!

  • The Blurst of TimesThe Blurst of Times Posts: 2,410
    tj_1ca9500b said:

    They look like they'd be excellent stand-ins for the Dune Still Suits from the 1984 movie.

    This was my first thought in seeing them. Totally reminded me of the Fremen stillsuits.

    ...

    Re: Impractical armor. A lot of unrealistic/fantasy armor is impractical, and some would be sexy while others are just bulky and sad.
    I love impractical armor that is sexy. I'm not so much a fan of MMOG-style armor with massive shoudler plates, weird bracers and greaves, ridiculous tabbards, etc.

    (Like, people PREFER the MMOG armor? Look at the shoulder pads! It's way too much 1980s for me in the year 2020.)

    Full body coverage can still be cool. midnight_stories, as noted, has many form-fitting suits that look quite good.
    They can be sexy in their own way. Form-fitting rather than bulky, multiple ceramic plate inserts, etc.

    These Vitruvian suits are also excellent. The human anatomy is always amazing to me, and the Vitruvian suits definitely have an excellent anatomical inspiration.

    (The positives of the geograft-style suit (like midnight_stories, I think) would be the lack of poke-through, but then you do run the risk of seam gaps, like the neck gap thing. This Vitruvian suit doesn't have the gap issue, but you do run the risk of poke-through. Either style has tradeoffs and benefits.)

  • wizwiz Posts: 1,100
    dajenksta said:

    Thanks wiz, great post!

    You're welcome. Great outfits deserve a great post.

    dajenksta said:

    I was really worried when I read the title! I'm so glad you like the suits, I'd better get going on the next project!

    Not sure if I can meet your Friday deadline though! 

    I did say I can probably wait till Monday.

    Probably.

    dajenksta said:

    Thanks againwink

    You're welcome.

    Thanks for the outfits, which I'm sure will be part of a growing family.

  • wizwiz Posts: 1,100
    Oso3D said:

    The neck/helmet gap is definitely a pet peeve of mine.

    There have been some space suits with a notable gap which makes me really go what the heck.

    It's number 1 on my list for a reason.

  • wizwiz Posts: 1,100
    tj_1ca9500b said:

    Say what now?  Everybody KNOWS that bikini armor is the best...

    I did a graphic novel where there was a team of 4 operatives, 3 cismen, 1 transwoman, 1 ciswoman (mostly mine, with just a hint of Scooby and the Avengers) in three acts. Each act the poor ciswoman was given skimpier armor with increasingly off-the-wall explanations, leading up to the total-invulnerability suit, which consisted of a collar, wrist and ankle cuffs, a belt, and a headband. When activated, it would indeed stop basically any attack, but also disintegrated/burnt/exploded any other clothing the user was wearing (don't wear any metal, certain synthetics, or anything with carbon-based black pigments, lol).

    tj_1ca9500b said:

    I shared this one a while back... This armor suit is a little OTT, as the skin to armor coverage ratio is quite high, but it just goes to show that even skimpwear armor is 100% effective in some people's minds in such situations...

    Wonder Woman's bracers?

    tj_1ca9500b said:

    Seriously, though, those Vitruvian Exosuits are a major reason I'm interested in the Kwan 8 related bundles.

    Same here.

    tj_1ca9500b said:

    They look like they'd be excellent stand-ins for the Dune Still Suits from the 1984 movie.

    There was a near perfect version of those on that site that sounds like "Hair Bee Gees" but it was like V4 or Genesis 1.

    tj_1ca9500b said:

    And everything you itemized in your OP is essentially what I prefer when buying armor.  Usually, high heeled fantasy and sci-fi armor suits languish in my wishlist until they go on sale for really really cheap or there's some bundle sale deal that they happen to be in.  The more 'conservative' suits tend to be insta-buys or 'I don't mind spending more than I usually do' purchases, keeping in mind that I am willing to wait for really decent sales for the vast majority of what I buy these days.

    Same here.

    Although my main world is post-scarcity and very advanced, and styles can be whimsicle. Effective power armor that looks Arthurian, tri-mast starships with billowing sails, etc. centaur vehicles (it wraps its legs around yours, adds a big drive unit and 2 more legs in the rear, and off you trot at a good 35 miles-hour). One main character tends to go nude, except she has a gross of flat pentagonal drones that compute the sight line between her and anyone who might be observing and position themselves to block the bits. She's fine up to about 36 observers, and then they converge on her and become a bikini. I believe that showing this would violate DAZ rules on nudity. They can reassmeble themselves into some partial armor covering the head and vital organs, or a dozen dodecahedrons (weapon systems or flying storage containers)

    tj_1ca9500b said:

    Carry on!

    My wayward son!

  • wizwiz Posts: 1,100

    I'd better stop describing my work: someone is going to figure out who I really am. Or worse, out both my scientist and artist personae, which I like to keep separate.

  • GreymomGreymom Posts: 1,121

    Wait, highly functional, logical, Sci-Fi armour?!  No exposed skin?  No absurd vulnerabilities? No stiletto heels? Doesn't this violate the very Laws of Nature, or the Terms of Service, or the Boy Scout pledge, or something?

    We been waitin' hundreds of years for this!

    Seriously, thank you Dajenkstra!  I have been needing this for a while!

    With a few tweaks, the exosuit will also do nicely for the film (or Manga) version of the Berserker body from Battle Angel, I think.

     

     

     

  • mmkdazmmkdaz Posts: 335

    the armors are perfect. Thank you!

  • pjwhoopie@yandex.compjwhoopie@yandex.com Posts: 793
    wiz said:
    Oso3D said:

    I did a graphic novel where there was a team of 4 operatives, 3 cismen, 1 transwoman, 1 ciswoman (mostly mine, with just a hint of Scooby and the Avengers) in three acts. Each act the poor ciswoman was given skimpier armor with increasingly off-the-wall explanations, leading up to the total-invulnerability suit, which consisted of a collar, wrist and ankle cuffs, a belt, and a headband. When activated, it would indeed stop basically any attack, but also disintegrated/burnt/exploded any other clothing the user was wearing (don't wear any metal, certain synthetics, or anything with carbon-based black pigments, lol). 

    Not so fast.... link to the graphic novel please (or PM me for it)... sounds like something I gotta read!

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