Oh, Misty, I forgot my Complaint Thread
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I slept in today, so I'm having breakfast at 11:12 or 11:13. I have an appointment to visit an apple store to look at my AirPods.
my package from Asia has been stuck in Washington State since June 22. I saw no updates to tracking since then.
Okay...
Remember...
You asked...
DAZ... Your friggin' forum software sucks like ten billion mosquitoes stuffed into a giant leach, stuffed into a demon lamprey slathered in itching powder which has attached itself to my buttocks and is trying to suck any experience of joy from forum visits through the festering wound it's created in my buttocks cheek...
It turns a visit to the library or hanging out with friends into a visit to the DMV... only not the nice new one with the friendly clerks and new computer kiosks... the old one on the corner of West Hell and Third street, with the demon clerks who've got chronic chunky flatulence.
Its like when you're admiring a beautiful sunset and you get a piece of dust in your eye, but you find out it's really a crossbow bolt and it's stuck really deep.
It mocks users like a deranged Hollywood horror movie serial killer with a fedora and finger blades, only it's not even the original one but a direct to video knockoff with a Panama hat and finger swords who goes by the name "Frankie Koobler" who kills his victims by annoying them to death.
Its like getting a prostrate exam from an angry bear.
Its like when you were little and you went trick or treating and all the good candy was gone so all you got was raisins, mustard packets and razor blades nobody even bothered to hide in candy.
Your constant 502 Bad Gateway Errors suck the joy from me like Cyber Dementors coming off a bad diet plan.
It's like that time you found out the Easter bunny wasn't real, but rabid raccoons hiding in the bushes were.
Its like waiting two hours on line for an amusement park ride only to have it break down exactly the moment you are about to get on... then deciding "no, damn it, I'll wait right here until they fix it!"... then two hours later when they open it back up it immediately breaks down again at the highest most difficult to evacuate point so that you end up on CNN dangling upside down with the caption "Pathetic Parkgoers Swelter Upside Down For Hours".
Its like when you are enjoying a picnic in the park and a mountain goat comes out of nowhere and buts you in the crotch while some random kids are making a TikTok across from you, recording the whole event for posterity.
It's like waiting on line at the airport TSA checkpoint and the agents ask you to step aside and the one with the really long fingers starts putting on the blue gloves...
Its like losing your AirPods in the grocery store then finding them on the floor next to you and putting them back in and then instantaneously finding your AirPods in your pocket and realizing the ones in your ears feel really creamy...
It's every poorly translated and grammatically incorrect spam call you've ever gotten.
Its that guy who's "company is in the neighborhood doing some roof work for a neighbor, who is offering special discounts because they are already working nearby" urgently knocking on your door in the middle of dinner or a movie, despite the sign on the door saying Go Away! No Soliciting! Die Scum!
Its that same guy two hours later.
Its that same guy the next day.
It's another guy from the same company the day after that.
It's the detective suspiciously asking if you have any information about a couple of shady door to door salesman who went missing recently.
It's waiting on line for the Port-A-Potties baking in the sun at any hot summer event were there is heavy drinking and greasy food involved.
It's annoying...
It sucks...
Its unreliable...
Its excruciatingly maddening...
And yet...
I know when whoever makes the decision to eventually replace this crap sandwich with something newer, they will be presented by someone knowledgeable with a far better solution, but will ultimately make a far worse choice because it's probably 30¢ cheaper or they liked that one's logo more.
Maybe I'm just cynical or maybe I'm just disgruntled... maybe I'm malcontent... but I hate this stupid software...
I hate clicking on my DAZ bookmarks and having my computer or iPad laugh at me for expecting it to open up.
I hate seeing that perpetual " 502 Bad Gateway Error ... Browser: Working- Cloudflare: Working- Host: Error... Derrr! What did you expect?!" message.
I hate scrolling through the forums then suddenly half the screen won't load or I realize the page only loaded 98% then froze...
I hate that when I hit "post" I never know it will post, or freeze, or disappear forever...
I hate writing something and having it disappear because quote drafts are broken...
I hate finding a particularly informative article and trying to email myself the link but the forum crashes and is unreachable long enough for me to forget and accidentally close the window.
I hate that whenever I want to ask a question, the damned software is having another nervous breakdown.
I hate that the forum software hates Safari for iOS which is the second most popular browser on earth used by 1 billion (with a "b") people...
I hate that I don't even know the name of the forum software, so that when I'm cursing its existence, I have to use the generic term "effing forum software" instead of "KrapTron" or whatever surely stupid name it's called...
I hate that it makes me hate it so deeply...
I hate that when I have a moment to internet around and I try to come here in a good mood that the forums instantly freeze, leaving me unable to share a happy thought, thus sending me somewhere that eventually leads to me going to a news site which is filled with nothing but stories about incredibly greedy, crafty-crappy, narcissistic, dishonorable, grafty, duplicitous, disingenuous, horrible people going out of their way to eff up the world as much as they possibly can, not even for some screwed up ideal or deranged vision, but out of sheer greed and avarice which they pulled straight out of Lucifer's butt...
And within a few minutes I go from a good mood to wanting to renounce my vow to never use my powers for evil and instead to go straight to super evil unleased directly at those who want to destroy everything nice for their own entertainment, despite me knowing that anger leads to hate and hate leads to the dark side and that even if you are the most powerful wielder of the dark arts, you'll never be able to control it for long and the moment you slip on that ring, no matter how good your intentions are, eventually that big eyeball will spot you and you'll lose your grip on those good intentions and before you know it you'll be cruising around the galaxy blowing up planets under the excuse you're restoring order to universe, but you've really just gone full out nuts in your long flowing black cape black plastic techno-pajamas and it's too late to turn back now, all because some stupid crappy dollar store software flipped me off and led me to the dark side.
I start out in a Ted Lasso / Mr Rodgers mood and end up Darth Volduron...
And I know that it's not going to change.
I'll keep dealing with this crappy 90s era nonsense until I just get bored and eventually stop coming here because it's too damn frustrating and it takes time from my planet killer space station project.
Was that descriptive enough?
I've got more... lots more... but the Amazon guy just delivered the plasma conduits for the cyclotron anti-neutrino amplification chamber and I want to see if they fit, because the last ones sucked and could barely destroy an asteroid let alone a moon or planet.
If it's from Amazon then you can use their "orders" page to complain or request refund, and if it's past it's "expected delivery" date, you should have already received notification that you have options. I've had a few packages "lost" in the mail, sometimes after it actually (well supposedly) reached the local distribution site just 7 miles away. Yet Amazon made me whole again.
I caught a bus! It was so easy. I had to stand at a bus trap spot and they practically stopped for me.
I have seen birds but I haven't seen a pterodactyl yet. Well in real life not in movies.
McGyver - Well said!
I am at an apple store. Been here maybe twenty minutes to half an hour. Apparently there are no apples here but that didn't stop gotta crowd here.
Actually here to have my AirPods looked at (again)! For the same exact problem!
Make sure they give you back your own AirPods and not someone else's filled with their unique blend of earwax and brain mites.
Not that that ever happened to me, but I did once think I dropped my old EarPods and when I picked them up I noticed they were encrusted in earwax... I instantly realized I left mine in the car and dropped those unholy things... like it was really an inhuman amount of wax... it was as if their ears were filled with caramel and peanut butter... ugh... I'm picturing it again... really gross, but for some reason, now I want a Reese's Caramel Crunch bar...
There is something wrong with me.
McGyver, you are funny. If there is something wrong with you, I think there is something wrong with me.
I think I need to start paying attention to where I am or I will be heading back to the mall instead of home.
Knowing where you are is overrated. Because then you start thinking about how you got there and where you're going. It starts a cascade of brain activity that leads eventually to desire, dissatisfaction and suffering. Much better to just be. Aummm...
Well, at least until you get hungry or have to pee.
So... Question...
Sort of an unofficial poll...
There is a new seafood place that opened at one of the seafood warehouses/distributors down on the docks nearby... there are a lot of places around here where the fishing boats take their catches... some of them are starting to open up little takeout restaurants...
Presumably because of Doordash and similar services that allow you to buy your food remotely without ever visiting the restaurant and seeing it...
My wife stopped by a new one there yesterday to try it out and bought a flounder sandwich (poor little mermaid, I hope it wasn't that Flounder)...
She liked it... and suggested I try it...
I'm assuming she was wearing her dark sunglasses indoors again or had something in both eyes and they just handed her the sandwich quickly (she did order ahead) and she didn't really look around.
Not that the place looks bad... it's got a charming New England crab shack vibe going on... with a little bit of a dockside seafood store from a Steven King novel, doing a side vibe... and when I went in, the guy serving people dining outside definitely stepped out of that same Steven King novel... Right down to the beige coveralls and beard... the young guy who takes a job on the fishing boat and is the only one who comes back after the boat passes through a mysterious fog where the rest of the crew disappears... he wakes up with a mysterious tattoo on his arms and has reoccurring nightmares about a talking octopus-man... and then takes a job at a local seafood restaurant because he's haunted by those events...
Yeah...
So, that all fine, well and good... just... what's an acceptable ratio of flies to humans...? 6000 to 1? 8000 to 1?...
This place definitely needs a fly zapper or eight hundred.
Maybe the flies are just part of the curse he brought back from R'lyeh.. I dunno... but I looked at the menu, pretended look at the fish sitting on ice in the open display case, pretended not to notice the million flies, made it seem like I didn't see anything I wanted and left like a bat out of hell, the moment everyone was distracted.
What the ever living fudgesicles is going on there?... yeesh.
I'm kinda torn about how to inquire about this to my wife... do I just mention the flies, or do I ask if her sandwich was buzzing and tasted like it had more flies in it than she felt she paid for?...
Ugh...
I dunno... I'm sure I'll figure something out and whatever it is will not go over the way I thought it would...
Well... that's all.
Home now
Its about time... sure took you long enough.
missed the optimal stop but was able to catch a stop still in walking distance to my home.
...McGyver, that was epic.
I tend to do a fair amount of PMs because sometimes things are just too OT (even for here) or may chance stepping on TOS, or are just better discussed privately.
I had just completed a response (20 min with my abysmal typing speed) to another forumite and was about to highlight it to take it into Word to check for typos when one of my clumsy arthritic fingers brushed another key and suddenly I was back in my email inbox. When I went to the tab where the post should have been everything in the edit window was gone. I have a text recovery tool but even that could not find the what I had wrote (for some reason it doesn't work with the forum software). Tow differences between the general forum editor and PM one. First you cannot attach an image of any significance to a PM, second there is no "Save Draft" or "autosave" so when something like this or a 502 error happens, you're totally screwed.
If Daz had a decent editor with a decent spell checking routine that understood proper English and let users add terms to a custom dictionary, it would be nice. but that's like hoping the 502/504 rubbish would be a thing of the past.
I got a small tropical drink, but I didn't know they meant this small? It would be perfect size for Barbie though!
...when I lived in Seattle I hung out at the Pike Market. the place where people at the fishmonger throw fish to each other which the tourists love to videotape. There was also a seafood eatery there, but they were far enough from the fish market, and apparently had some way to deal with flies so you could eat in relative comfort and peace. without a couple thousand unwanted winged guests.
I love fresh seafood and one would think the northwest where I live would abound with it Well on the coast (which these days is only accessible if you have a car and drive) yeah, but inland it's all pretty much pre frozen and farmed rather than caught in the wild. About the only fresh ocean seafood one can find in Portland is oysters, cod, and salmon, the latter being the primary fish of the region. I love oysters, but not raw (edited too many medical journal articles to do so). Cod is OK but it's best for "baking" than tossing in a "skillet" as it falls apart too easy. As to salmon it is the one fish I'm allergic to so living here with that would be akin living in Wisconsin and being severely lactose intolerant (I believe you still have to specifically request oleomargarine at a restaurant there).
So in the city (only 60 - 70 miles from the coast) it's either ending up buying farmed fish (which really is not all that good) or the over processed pre breaded minced garbage fish in the freezer section. Two inexpensive varieties I've seen hawked at supermarkets are tilapia and swai (both are usually farmed), Never heard of either before and when I did a little research, I found out neither is all that healthy as they don't contain the same omega-3 fatty acids that most fish has. Most farmed fish in general, even salmon, is low quality compared to that which is wild.
...and guess what happened just after I clicked on "post comment". Fortunately had saved a version of the post above in Word as I had just scanned it for typos and could paste it in.
Grammar Nazi: "what I had wrote" (erk, shudder, grimace, pain)
Less jarringly, "what I wrote", or "what I had written".
https://depts.washington.edu/engl/askbetty/tenses.php
"Tow differences" relating perhaps to mileage or rollability of a wrecked auto to the repair shop?
Although I understand that when dealing with the DAZ forum foibles and Uncle Arthur, grammar is not one's immediate concern.
English is sooo much fun!
Edited to add: <never mind>
Even Barbie can't drink her tropical drink!
Wild strawberries are better than farmed ones too. A little gamy though.
Caturday will be gone soon.
Was it a good day for you?
Dana
...OK here for the most part.
I would have gotten on the right bus (time-wise) but they were 5 minutes early. I would have been at the bus stop on time I gues, but stopped as soon as I saw the bus drive by. Now to remember to get off at the right bus stop.
And this is the winner.
When writing comedy, always go with the goat/crotch reference, it's a sure bet.
If it's any consolation, thanks to various aspects of Quantum Superposition described in Schrödinger's Equation (though imperfectly), there were at least several million variations of you that got on the right bus at the right time... although 6 found the bus to be filled with flying bloodsucking dachshunds, two buses were attacked by a Tyrannosaurus Rex, three fell into lava and one was actually an alien life form that mimics buses to lure in victims.
Just be happy you are the you that you are and not the one that's currently covered in itchy dachshund bites (in that universe dachshunds are half insectoid).
A complaint and then an observation:
I think I'm pretty chill with the fluids evolution of the English language and I'm fairly thick skinned with lazy writing on the internet... as long as I understand what you're trying to say, it's all good...
I'm not so chill if it's a news site where I'm pretty sure you are receiving a paycheck for pecking out poorly thought through assemblages of blindly groped out words... Especially if there was some sort of scholastic requirement for the position beyond just having fingers and knowing the difference between the alphabet letters.
I'm not even referring to Canis Vulpes Nuntium, I'm talking actual journalistic institutions that actually have writers that went to school for actual writing.
I belatedly picked my newspaper up from the driveway (after having run it over twice already this morning), and while belatedly eating my breakfast well past noon, I was confronted by three article using abbreviations that were not explained...
That annoys the hell out of me... I guess we've reached the point where everyone instinctively knows what NCUH, OALJ or EEOMBD stand for?
And I'm also guessing if you aren't familiar with Nassau County University Hospital, Office of Administrative Law Judges or Ombudsman for the Energy Employees Occupational Illness Compensation Program, then piss off you daffy beggar...
I'm getting to the point where I feel we need to have federal regulations in place to limit acronyms to no more than four letters and administer sound beatings to anyone not including at least a side note as to what the acronyms stand for.
Why must I go most of the way through an article wondering why the author is referencing the Organization of Antelopes, Llamas and Jerboas involvement in a criminal investigation?
The hell are Jerboas up to these days?
I don't feel that bad, though, at least since one of my daughters, a Gen X kid, recently lamented the same thing about something she was reading... but then again she values writing skills and is going into journalism.
Which leads into my next segment...
An observation.
This morning I dropped both of my daughters off at their new summer jobs... one at an ambulance exchange (a volunteer ambulance corps, not where you trade ambulances for other emergency vehicles... it's a lousy term) and the other at a supermarket...
I feel old... when I first started posting at DAZ they were tiny little babies, now they are young women going out into the world... next year they'll go to college and I'll be left with only my wife to annoy.
Yeesh... sixteen years went by so damn fast.
Too bad I'm forbidden from time traveling within my own lifetime thanks to the stupid Samuel Beckett Rule*...
Well, hopefully I stood as a useful cautionary tale for them to learn from... although the one at the ambulance place is just as injury prone as me, constantly trying to prove the laws of physics don't apply to her either.
I say this while looking over at a small pile of bloody napkins and bandages next to a half finished bagel wondering what the hell she cut herself on this time...
Shes so my daughter in that regard... I remember when they were little hearing her sister say "Dad's home, there's a trail of blood going from the back door to the bathroom!"... very nonchalantly...
In my defense, it wasn't bad and I did clean it up after I put out the fire outside.
Oh well... that's all... Enough complaining and observational nostalgia.
Have a good weekend folks.
I got some stuff from Dollar tree, bit I missed the 1:13 bus. Now I'm waiting for the 2:13 bus.
other than the rain, all is well. Oh also my dish detergent spilled some and got my container of salt soapy on the outside. But at least I also got laundry soap.