Couple of newbie interface questions
So I was watching the posing basics tutorial here: 
Almost right away he simply clicks on a part of the model and that selects the appropriate joint/bone. I cannot for the life of me figure out how to do this. I believe I have all of the interface the same but nothing really happens when I click on the model. I can drill down into the bones list manually but I can't pick from the 3D figure itself.
The second thing that happened is I added the basic toulouse hair to the model after I was posing her and it ended up not really attached to her head properly. That threw me for a loop and I couldn't figure out how to either remove the hair or fix it's I guess disconnected placement.
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Which tool is active (Tools menu)? In the Tool Settings pane there is an option for Node Selection - what is it set to? As I recall it defaults to Root then node, so the first click selects the figure and then the second selects the bone under the pointer.
Which figure are you using, and was it selected (the figure or one of its bones) when you loaded the hair?
With the "node selection" tool (cursor arrow only) the tool settings dialog has node selection set to root node first. But I actually can't even get it to select the genesis 8.1 character I have in the sceen by clicking on her, I have to go the Scene pane and pick her from the list.
I bet what happened is I had one of the bones selected for the hair, rather than the whole figure. Seems to work fine if I do that the right way.
Make sure that the figure hasn't been made unselectable - check the pointer icon next to the eye icon in the Scene pane, does it have a tick (selectable) or a cross (unselectable)?