The [Disco Chives] Misplaced Parrot Complaint Thread

14243454748100

Comments

  • kyoto kidkyoto kid Posts: 41,042
    edited December 2023

    ...or how big they are.

     

    big cat in box.jpg
    480 x 480 - 31K
    Post edited by kyoto kid on
  • NylonGirlNylonGirl Posts: 1,809

    LeatherGryphon said:

    Non-complaint:  I went to a holiday party.  Yay!   And it was loaded with only gay men!  Wheee...yes

    Y'know how long it's been since I've been to a gay party?  Eighteen years!​ sad  At the party last night, there were sixteen or more, old, burly, and/or grizzled guys playing silly party games, watching porn on the big screen, discussing recipes, describing house modifications, and telling tales of old adventures.  And little snippets of gay banter that I haven't heard in years.smiley

     

      My other-half and I were great party goers and givers, in Washington during the 80s & early 90s.  I left Washington DC (jobless) in 2002 a few years after my other-half died.  Went to Florida and lived with my Aunt, until she died.  During that time I was a frequent visitor of the Parliament House in Orlando and the Suncoast Resort in St. Petersburg.  Both big gay resorts(both now defunct), but I had no gay friends in Melbourne where I lived with my Aunt.  I'd left all our gay friends in Washington.  In 2008 I retired to my hometown, up here in western NY State and never found any compatible gay men around here.  I've been a lonely boy for far too long.  Nice to have a couple new names in my address book.  People I don't have to watch my comments around.devil

    Edited to add:  I've been mentioning my "other-half", but struggled on how to refer to him.  Decades ago during the height of the AIDs issue, after many of us had lost so many friends and partners, someone once mentioned to me, at a funeral, that we really need a single word for "my dead lover" that gives the correct  closeness meaning without appearing either dismissive or maudlin.indecision

    I couldn't come up with anything really good but maybe you could call him your "funky chive". I don't know. But I'm glad you had big fun. It's nice to hear happy stuff every now and then. We had big fun at the Mariah Carey concert. She had her kids there and they sang and everything, and she puts on a surprisingly good show. Christmas is going to be a challenge. There aren't enough chives in the world to get everybody together in one house. Actually maybe chives would do it..

  • kyoto kid said:

    ...or how big they are.

     

    Never to old or big to be a Kitty. 

  • AgitatedRiot said:

    No matter how old cats get. They will always love boxes. My oldest cat we got in 2008, found in a tree during a flood.

    Your cat is the spitting image of one we used to have at my work years ago.

    I've had this box for at least 5 years. They will shred or chew other boxes (even if they sleep in them too), but they use this one exclusively as a prime lounging area because the window faces south. The three on the left are siblings. The one on the right is dumb as a rock but extremely sweet. They are rescues as well.

    20231210_203930small.jpg
    1433 x 1116 - 977K
  • a box of floof

  • kyoto kid said:

    ...or how big they are.

    Hahahaha! heartheartheartlaughlaughlaugh

  • sazzyazzca said:

    AgitatedRiot said:

    No matter how old cats get. They will always love boxes. My oldest cat we got in 2008, found in a tree during a flood.

    Your cat is the spitting image of one we used to have at my work years ago.

    I've had this box for at least 5 years. They will shred or chew other boxes (even if they sleep in them too), but they use this one exclusively as a prime lounging area because the window faces south. The three on the left are siblings. The one on the right is dumb as a rock but extremely sweet. They are rescues as well.

    Escher cats

  • JasmineSkunk said:

    kyoto kid said:

    ...or how big they are.

    Hahahaha! heartheartheartlaughlaughlaugh

    Who ordered the catastrophe box?indecision

  • DanaTADanaTA Posts: 13,209

    Saw this on the Internet some time ago.  Thought it was funny...

     

     

    spare cats.jpg
    600 x 450 - 199K
  • McGyverMcGyver Posts: 7,050
    edited December 2023

    sazzyazzca said:

    Your cat is the spitting image of one we used to have at my work years ago.

    I've had this box for at least 5 years. They will shred or chew other boxes (even if they sleep in them too), but they use this one exclusively as a prime lounging area because the window faces south. The three on the left are siblings. The one on the right is dumb as a rock but extremely sweet. They are rescues as well.


     

    Awww... A kitty casserole. It's hard to tell where one cat ends and another begins... kinda contradicts that old saying "They're going at it like two cats in a bag"... because apparently if you put four(?) in a shallow tray-box, they merge into one zen feline entity who can radiate transcendental purr rays out into the cosmos creating peace, love and sleepiness.

    Reminds me of the ancient Lemurian tale of The Four Cats of The Cosmos... 

    Before Kwakmut the Penguin God created mankind, he placed the four cats of feline virtue in a tray atop Mount Maydup to watch over and guide the other creatures... 
    They were Patience, Curiosity, Concentration and Chaos.
    But the tray was so comfortable that they began to purr and as their purring intensified, it synchronized with the ethereal flow of harmonic bliss which radiated throughout the universe... it was so harmonious that Chaos became Contentment and lost his desire to create mischief.

    All the creatures in the world felt joy and oneness.
    All, except Psswad their malcontent brother. 
    Kwakmut left him out because his sole trait was jealousy and Psswad felt betrayed and jealous (duh).

    Psswad swore to upset the harmony they created by stealing their squeaky mouse of destiny... a litttle stuffed mouse toy that was buried beneath their snuggled bodies and thus kept them from being distracted which would upend their harmonious purring.

    Meanwhile, Kwakmut seeing the peace and happiness decided to create one more animal species, but he was a little high at the moment and instead he made humans... he was all like "Bro... what the hell... weird... whatever..." and so humans were created.

    But what Kwakmut didn't realize, because he was pretty stoned at the time, was that humans having been created after The Purring, made them immune to the harmony of they Purr Waves... it was calming and chillaxing, but it did not entrance them like the other animals.

    Psswad realized that and convinced Jerkassious a human farmer, that beneath his siblings was a talisman of great power that could bring him limitless wealth and ladylovin' if he could retrieve it... with it Jerkassious could rule the world.
    Together they formulated a plan to climb the mountain and steal the squeaky mouse.

    This would not be easy... there were many perils along the way, like a total lack of public restrooms, overpriced trendy vegan restaurants, a really bitchy dragon with bad breath, and a complete lack of safety railings on the stairs up the mountain... not to mention that there were tons of random banana peels everywhere on the stairs, making it even more dangerous.

    But Psswad was resourceful and cunning and knew how to dine and dash and was able to sweet-talk the dragon into letting them pass... somehow they made it past the banana peels and eventually arrived at the top of the mountain.

    Psswad distracted his brother, Contentment, by batting his nose with his paw until his purring became unsynchronized with his siblings... and with that Contentment turned back into Chaos and lept from the box to chase Psswad.
    With Chaos out of the box, havoc waves released the Pandas of Mayhem, spreading Pandemonium throughout the cosmos.
    The animals and creatures of the sea went wild and did all sorts of weird stuff including getting freaky in the most bizarre ways, which is why today, we have the Platypus, the Kiwi and that weird blob fish that looks like the Ancient Greek poet Likymnios of Chios.

    As Chaos jumped out of the box, the Squeaky Mouse of Destiny was exposed, just as Psswad had predicted. Jerkassious grabbed it and went to run away with it, but slipped on a banana peel on the top step and fell to his death in a very comical manner.
    As he fell, the the squeaky mouse made a squeak each time he hit a step and together with his painful exclamations and cursing the remaining felines were awakened.

    The harmonious purring stopped and only Concentration remained in the box... without his siblings though, he became feline Apathy... which is why most cats don't give a crap about anything and just sleep all day or give you the middle finger when you try to move them off your chair.

    It is said that all cats retain this ancestral memory and this is why they sit in boxes, feeling remorse and shame for having abandoned their duty, but not actually caring that much about it.

    The Squeaky Mouse of Destiny was never recovered and was lost in a deep pit that went far into the bowels of the earth where it's really smelly and hot and nobody wants to go.

    Perhaps this is all a myth created by a civilization that itself was a myth, living on a mythical continent in a time of myths... or perhaps this is really why cats are magnetically attracted to cardboard boxes... and why platypuses get so embarrassed in school when they have to draw a family tree with all the branches with ducks and beavers and otters and venomous reptiles on it... granted ancient people really had nothing better to do than make pointy monuments, drink fermented beverages and make crap up to explain pretty obvious stuff they were too drunk and oblivious to comprehend... but who knows for sure... 
    Well, cats do, but they couldn't care less about sharing that information, so just give them a box and maybe if we get lucky a bunch of them will congregate in one and harmoniously sync up their purring and the world will become blissfully chillaxive again... granted humans will eff it up all over again, but hopefully the Hamster of Fate with intervene this time and things will turn out better.

    Maybe it's a thing... when the ghost ship S.S. Aurthur Figis was found in 1948, thirty seven years after vanishing, this photo was allegedly found among the possessions of the missing explorer Johann Gambolputty.
    Some believe that his notes and diary mentioned in the logs of the S.S. Varken, the ship which discovered the Figis in 1948 are a reference to the lost civilization of Atlantis or perhaps even the civilization of the lost continent of Lemuria... Rumors and legends abound... The S.S. Varken itself disappeared shortly after its encounter with the Figis and turned up as a ghost ship sixty two years later when the chartered SilCorDyne research vessel R.V. Dinsdale discovered her rusty hulk 200 miles off the Bimini coast... All of Gambolputty's possessions are believed to have disappeared with the Dinsdale when it was lost at sea shortly after discovering the Varken. 
    There are rumors that just before she disappeared, SilCorDyne dispatched a helicopter to recover Gambolputty's possessions along with his diary and several mysterious artifacts.
    SilCorDyne officially denies this ever happened, but one of the photos mentioned in the log of the Varken describes a photo with the notation "Carving from the temple of the Four Cats of the Cosmos"... though this image which allegedly is of that photo and shows five cats, it's claimed that the fifth cat which sits outside the box, apart from the other four, is actually a depiction of Psswad hunched over, plotting his revenge.

    You decide... either I just made all this crap up and spent forty eight minutes using Photoshop, Filter Forge and assorted AI image generators to create a deranged narrative for a story I've been alluding to for years since my freebie Atlantis Mega Dome... or it's all real... the freebie is real... I'm probably real.

    Who can say.

    I think we all agree that's it's easier to trust and believe a madman than to resort to skeptical reasoning.

    Cheers.

    Post edited by McGyver on
  • It's a good thing that McGyver gives us these essays.  Otherwise his head might explode.surprise  Future historians will find these in the DAZ forum archives and begin to suspect that there was a whole branch of humanity that lived in another universe.indecision

  • McGyverMcGyver Posts: 7,050

    LeatherGryphon said:

    It's a good thing that McGyver gives us these essays.  Otherwise his head might explode.surprise  Future historians will find these in the DAZ forum archives and begin to suspect that there was a whole branch of humanity that lived in another universe.indecision

    I think if you copy everything down, put it up on the cork board, stick the pins in the right spots and tie the red string between the correct corresponding clues, it all draws together a deeper story that only the maddest individuals amongst us can decipher... or it's a really messy string art project on top of delusional manifestos... who can really say... but the truth is my head exploded long ago and my mind is just a tray of hot Orville Redenbacher kernels bouncing about popping and puffing... all chaos and buttery, salty confusion.

  • I have learned not to drink anything when I am reading this thread. The sass, smart-assery and humour pretty much ensures I'm either going to choke laughing or spray on the screen. Y'all are some hilarious  folks! laugh

  • The title of this thread has reminded me of a complaint.

    I have one Agatha Christie 'Poirrot' book, and I have misplaced it. I can't even remember the title. Think it may be '10 Little Indians' or 'And then there were none' but that may be my mind going, and it could have been '10 Green Bottles'. It's so long since I had it. Oh yes. Poirrot isn't in it, either. So Poirrot was misplaced by the author from my misplaced 'Poirrot' book.

    Regards,

    Richard

  • NylonGirlNylonGirl Posts: 1,809
    Five Little Pigs
  • Five Red Herrings?

  • McGyverMcGyver Posts: 7,050
    edited December 2023

    richardandtracy said:

    The title of this thread has reminded me of a complaint.

    I have one Agatha Christie 'Poirrot' book, and I have misplaced it. I can't even remember the title. Think it may be '10 Little Indians' or 'And then there were none' but that may be my mind going, and it could have been '10 Green Bottles'. It's so long since I had it. Oh yes. Poirrot isn't in it, either. So Poirrot was misplaced by the author from my misplaced 'Poirrot' book.

    Regards,

    Richard

    There were a lot of Parrot novels...

    The A.B.C. Murders in the Mesopotamia Mews.
    The Mystery on the Blue Orient Express Train in the Nile.
    The Murder of Dan Ackroyd.
    A Cat Among Elephants That Pigeons Can Remember.
    The Adventures of the Christmas Pudding after the Funeral.
    Evil Under The Dog And Other Stories.
    Lord Edgware Dies On The Links.
    Black Coffee on the Table.
    The Horse Apples of Cerberus.

    Some of the ones with numbers...

    One, Two, Buckle My Three Act Tragedy
    Five Blind Pigs at the Halloween Party
    The Big Four Labours of Hercules at End House.
    Third Girl On The Left Next To The Sad Cypress.
    Five Little Pigs Appointment With Death.
    Four Hundred and Twenty Blackbirds in the Clouds.
    The Flat Dead Man's Third Folly.
    Hickory, Dickory, Dock, the Clocks are a Second Gong.

    I dunno... those may be out of order... or jumbled a bit... or I'm not remembering them correctly... or combining titles... or I don't actually know who Angus Christie was... That's the guy who wrote the Sherlock Watson mystery comics... right?
     

    Post edited by McGyver on
  • McGyverMcGyver Posts: 7,050

    Richard Haseltine said:

    Five Red Herrings?

    I see your Five Red Herrings and raise you a Rainbow Trout.

  • McGyverMcGyver Posts: 7,050

    NylonGirl said:

    Five Little Pigs

    It's "Five Golden Pigs... Four Falling Birds, Three French Pens, Two Turtle Dogs and the Cartilage In My Left Knee..."

  • NylonGirlNylonGirl Posts: 1,809

    Richard Haseltine said:

    Five Red Herrings?

    ...four purring cats, three beginnings of time, two bottles of chives,  and a hell turkey.

    It's the most wonderful time of the year.

  • Sfariah DSfariah D Posts: 26,262

    richardandtracy said:

    Ending the PC by the application of thunder is not unknown - either by voltage spike or EMP (though PC's are better against EMP than they were). Take care.

    Regards,

    Richard.

     

    it isn't computer ending but apparently unplugging the power source of a desktop, instead of the mouse I meant to unplug, especially during a render wasn't great!

  • GordigGordig Posts: 10,053

    I can no longer remember what my life was back before I started converting KitBash3D sets. 

  • Sfariah DSfariah D Posts: 26,262

    Oh wait!  isn't going to bed require getting off the computers and getting into bed?

     

    Where is Richard?

  • Sfariah DSfariah D Posts: 26,262

    Richard Haseltine said:

    Five Red Herrings?

    Oops! No seven herrings?  oh wait what are we talking about?  Are you Richard? 

  • McGyverMcGyver Posts: 7,050

    Gordig said:

    I can no longer remember what my life was back before I started converting KitBash3D sets. 

    Something involving bears and computers?...
    Maybe a park ranger who taught picnic basket thieving bears a new occupation to rehabilitate them and make them productive members of society?.... I'm just going by your avatar, but I'm feeling there's some bear stuff involved and probably computers.

    Also... sets?... like just one KitBash set wil have like 50,000 things to rejigger... why would you do that to yourself... or the bears?

    Think of the bears man... the bears!

  • DanaTADanaTA Posts: 13,209
    edited December 2023

    Richard Haseltine said:

    Five Red Herrings?

    Four turtle doves...   

    Hmmmm...I may have gotten my birds confused.

    Post edited by DanaTA on
  • WendyLuvsCatzWendyLuvsCatz Posts: 38,206
    edited December 2023

    McGyver said:

    NylonGirl said:

    Five Little Pigs

    It's "Five Golden Pigs... Four Falling Birds, Three French Pens, Two Turtle Dogs and the Cartilage In My Left Knee..."

    stop boasting 

    mine is bone on bone

    the orthopedic surgeon told me to lose weight, I must admit he was right, 10 kilos lighter it doesn't hurt anywhere near as much and I no longer need to be on the waiting list

    Post edited by WendyLuvsCatz on
  • GordigGordig Posts: 10,053

    McGyver said:

    Also... sets?... like just one KitBash set wil have like 50,000 things to rejigger... why would you do that to yourself... or the bears?

    When I first started, I was really taking care to place lights everywhere they needed to go for realistic lighting. Before too terribly long, I was just slapping an Arnold parameters tag on everything and replacing all the materials, which is easy if time-consuming. If KB3D had Arnold compatibility for C4D, I wouldn't need to do any of this, but as it is I have no real choice but to import the sets with native materials and build the Arnold materials separately.

  • NylonGirlNylonGirl Posts: 1,809

    I seem to vaguely remember an Amazon delivery driver, who looked like he had been severely beaten by a penguin, telling me "I'm going to need those chives back". But he didn't go back into a normal Amazon delivery van. It was more like a portal... Not a high tech science fiction portal. More of an ancient portal. And he didn't work for Amazon.

  • LeatherGryphonLeatherGryphon Posts: 11,506
    edited December 2023

    WendyLuvsCatz said:

    McGyver said:

    NylonGirl said:

    Five Little Pigs

    It's "Five Golden Pigs... Four Falling Birds, Three French Pens, Two Turtle Dogs and the Cartilage In My Left Knee..."

    stop boasting 

    mine is bone on bone

    the orthopedic surgeon told me to lose weight, I must admit he was right, 10 kilos lighter it doesn't hurt anywhere near as much and I no longer need to be on the waiting list

    "Fiiiivve cosmic strings".

     

    Loosing weight does indeed help, many ailments.  Makes one wonder why we get "fat -ish" in the first place.frown  I've lost 50 pounds, twice in my life.  I'm 5'10" (11" in the old days) at 200 pounds now.  I was 160 in my twenties, but by time my other-half had died, his cooking and a cushy job "forced" me to balloon to 230.  Then he died and I buried myself in my work and gym and reduced to 180 pounds of muscle while in my late forties(my big motorcycle era).  In my early 50s I was 225 pounds of solid muscle.  But then, after job loss and years of long underemployment and poor eating habits for nearly twenty more years, I ballooned again, this time to 250 pounds.  Over the last year and a half, beginning at the age of 73, I managed to lose 65 pounds by simply tempering my intake(i.e. eating reasonably and at least semi-healthily) down to 185 but then my willpower ran out of battery and I've snuck back up to 200, but I've been holding it steady (+-2 pounds) for several months.  Now that the holiday season and all its tempting foods are going away (too many of them into my mouth), I have every intention of continuing my journey back down to at least 180 pounds.  My goal is to get back into my motorcycle leathers.  Woof! heart

    My silly doctor wants me at "under 170".   Keep dreamin' doc.cheeky  

    Post edited by LeatherGryphon on
This discussion has been closed.