The [Disco Chives] Misplaced Parrot Complaint Thread
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Complaint: Potatoes: I'm overstocked with various types of cooked potatoes. Some in casserole, some in chunks, some in slices, and a quarter of a 5 lb. bag of potatoes going soft. Needed to clean out the refrigerator. Bagged potatoes going soft, onions looking tired, hamburg turning gray, salad on it's last un-zombied day. Last of the milk was still OK though(I don't want to know how they get milk to last 3 or 4 weeks after being opened). But the open jar of gravy was opened on 12/8/23 and was lookin' funny.. But with all those potatoes I know what I'm going to be eating for the next couple days. Actually, I'm just generally overstocked with various cooked foods that needs to be eaten faster than a "DAZ Soon". Sigh, diet shot to heck in the first three days of the year.
Non-complaint: Cookies: I have all the makin's for my Mother's chocolate chip oatmeal cookies. Mmmm... chocolate... Now that the diet's been assasinated I might as well use them up. But after they're gone (4.5 dozen) that's the end of cookie magic till next Christmas/NewYear. Cookie makin's is 'spensive these days. Maybe my diet will be on track again by that time. (201 lbs this morning) Doctor wants me at 170. Keep dreamin' doc. I on the otherhand will settle for being able to get into my motorcycle leathers again. It's been at least 20 years. When I was a bodybuilding biker I used to weigh 220 and they fit, but the mass was distributed differently.
..ah the price for being a "concerned citizen"..
Did my final tally of emails received for the last month that only requested donations for various causes and campaigns and for the month of December that total came to a whopping 5,725.
The largest single day total was of course on the 31st being the last day of the month, the fiscal quarter, and year. Onjust that one day, I recorded a record 662 emails.
I on the otherhand have retreated into the forests & farms of upstate NY, eliminated and changed some of my email addresses, filtered spam with many many lines in the spam machinegun file. and am upset when I get more than three unwanted emails a day. And so I send my Krell monster out to deal with the persistent purveyers of putrid piles of pspam. (I was going for a five level alliteration).
Warning: My Krell monster didn't come home last night. Watch yourself everybody.
I don't like em, but I will put up with them for the environment; I would run and scream like a girly girl If I ran into Hercules.
The spider measured 7.9 centimeters (3.1 inches) from foot to foot, surpassing the park's record-holder from 2018, the male funnel web named "Colossus," now lives at Australian Reptile Park.
Image AP The largest male specimen of the world's most poisonous spider has been found in Australia (msn.com)
Those are best appreciated when found dead, or not encountered at all. (*shudder*)
Well that's terrifying!
I'm trying to figure out why the reptile habitat. Last I remember, lizards and snakes will eat spiders, and many animals are immune to Hercules's venom.
Cats, dogs, dingos, and monitor lizards, geckos, rats, and marsupials such as dunnarts. I don't know if Australia has Insect Houses in their zoos. St Louis Zoo has a great insect house, Saint Louis Zoo | Insectarium (stlzoo.org). I love going there, but my wife will not even go in. She does like that metal scorpion. She will not get near it; she fears insects will come out.
I read that as "Mental Scorpion"... it's good I misread that... Mental Scorpions are a very vexing condition if it's the psychological type... but the other kind of "Mental Scorpions" are just annoying with their obnoxious stupid behavior... either way, I misread that... but Metal scorpions are bitchin' like totally gnarly dude with their little electric guitars and headbanger gear...
Anyway...
When I was kid my mom had no fear of insects and was actually quite fascinated by them... she had a pet tarantula and two small scorpions when I was really young... but she'd always catch interesting spiders, bugs, beetles and moths or butterflies, examine them and release them... her sisters were not overly fond of exoskeletoned critters, but they weren't scare or repulsed by them... I figured everyone was not freaked out by bugs and any time I came across someone who was, I figured something terrible happened that made them afraid of them... when I was older, for some reason most of the girls I dated were indifferent to bugs too... so when I met my wife, I figured she wasn't afraid of them either...
Yeah... I was really off.
Apparently very early on I caught a ginormous wolf spider on the stairway in her dorm and was hold it in my hands... I guess she didn't see me stop to pick it up (I didn't want it getting stepped on where it was)... So she saw me holding something cupped in my hands and said "What do you have there?"... So I opened my hand and showed her...
I learned my first memorable lesson about the decibel level my wife can attain when startled or freaked out... You may have heard it too, wherever you may have been if you were anywhere on the planet around late May, 1990... I'm kinda feeling there were other far distant planets where people were like "What the hell was that?", but so far I haven't remembered to ask... but anyway, yeah... I didn't learn anything from that because I caught a huge rat snake and showed her, which was equally well appreciated and pointed out a fox hiding in a bush two feet from her one night... you probably heard those too, but the point was, she's not fond of outdoor wildlife or creepy crawly critters and now I just pretend I forget she's not... but you know what, she still married me, so that's on her... plus in all fairness she did try to feed me to a huge barracuda on our honeymoon, so I guess we are even...
Interesting thing is she doesn't remember most of the things I tell her, but from that very first time on, if she sees me holding something with my hands cupped together, she's instantly like "Keep whatever that is away from me... put it outside, I don't want to see it..."
Nit-pick - spiders are not insects, they are as far removed from insects as they (and insects) are from chordates (if not more so, given some aspects of their anatomy).
My ankles hurt. My room is a mess. I can only fix one thing today.
I vote for ankles, even if you can only fix one of them.
Nits, however, are insects.
I do know this. I had never heard of an Arthropod House. Most are kept in an Insectarium.
Only after they hatch.
I may have heard that in May 1990. I probably said to my friends or family, "Did you hear that?"
My sister is afreind of spiders. But, to be fair, if one bites her, she blows up like a balloon and turnds pretty shades of blue! I, on the other hand, avoid killing them, so you'll see one now and then in my house. There is a pond across the street, but I've never had a problem with mosquitoes.
Arachnids, the final plan for Earth.
I avoid killing the spiders too... but if they introduce themselves to anyone else in the house I have to put them outside... there are a lot of spiders in the house though... mostly in the basement... I'm pretty sure they make up 20% of the weight of the house, but I've never found a scale large enough to fit the house... or all the spiders, so that's just a guess.
On the plus side, the gigantic centipedes seem to have finally eliminated the cave crickets down there... but apparently they had an alliance with the spiders, so I'm curious what going to happen with that treaty now that the crickets are gone.
That's a common misconception in the "Ankles or Room" scenario... most people chose "Fix ankles" thinking that they are important for walking and running, but if you choose "Fix the room", you'll have the option to "Clean under bed"... if you choose "Fix room" > "Clean under bed" > "Remove mysterious eggs from sock pile", you'll avoid having the eggs hatch at night and the Mutant Arachnoplatypuslings sucking out your brains while you sleep, which is what happens when you choose "Fix ankles".
With the eggs safely disposed of, you can fix your ankles the next day, plus collect one Stimpak and two Blue Herbs that were hidden in the sock-nest... That's if you look... sometimes it's an old frankfurter and two stale beer pretzels, but usually it's the stimpak and herbs, so it's definitely worth choosing "Fix room", because the Arachnoplatypuslings only hatch at night and the nest only can be found if you choose "Clean under bed".
If you only find the frankfurter and pretzels, don't take them... they won't fix the ankles (you'll only get like three health points from them altogether, and one herb is good for one ankle), so leave the room without moving anything or talking to the monkey... go down the hall and open the closet... when you get the choice to "Fight angry bat?", close the door and go back and the stimpak an herbs should have spawned... you may have to do that again once or twice before they show up... Plus, as long as you haven't talked to the monkey, they'll respawn up to three times... if you leave the nest and leave the house and fight the chihuahua across the street, the eggs will respawn and then you'll get three more shots at stimpaks and herbs... but you have to remember to remove the eggs... if you forget or get killed by the chihuahua, the eggs will hatch while you are recovering in the Pickle Shed and you'll find two adult Arachnoplatypuses in the room and they'll have killed the monkey, so you won't be given the shrimp toast side quest which is how you get the jet pack and the Thong of Invisibility and unless you somehow found the Squeaky Hammer of Destiny, there is no way you can defeat two adult Arachnoplatypuses without it or the flamethrower, and you usually use all the flamethrower fuel battling the chihuahua.
Fix ankles is a smart choice, but the Arachnoplatypuslings will always get you.
Admittedly, my ankles still suck, but I never clean under my bed and nothing has sucked out my ... um ... thinky stuff in head. Anyway, compression socks are so expensive that I don't have enough to form a pile.
Well... if you haven't invited the kangaroo over yet, you probably haven't gotten the Arachnoplatypus eggs under the bed yet either...
You usually meet the kangaroo at the Ramen Shop by the used zeppelin dealer... You should start the conversation by choosing "What a nice pouch you have!"...
But the sock pile is from the kangaroo... he hides it under the bed when you let him do laundry in exchange for him giving you the Quesadilla Maker, which you need to fight the angry bat in the closet (don't get rid of it, they come back often)... You won't need compression socks until you sell the octopus your old bicycle so you can afford the bus ride to Pittsburgh... once you are there you'll find compression socks in all the taxis and donkey carts... you need those much later to construct a trebuchet to kill the Arachnoplatypus Queen... I don't want to give away the ending, but make sure you kiss Sasquatch before he drops you off at home.
But anyway since you probably haven't met the kangaroo yet, remember the Arachnoplatypuses are very dangerous at that stage (and in general)...
Even the chihuahua is deadly at that point, so if you are doing the stimpak trick, don't run across the street and throw shoes at him, just go back inside and bother the bat or do the dishes a few times until you find more flamethrower in the refrigerator.
Catastrophic cruel cringy cubacabra-chihuahua.
I read that you are not supposed to talk to the monkey. It's a Trap!!!
Don't believe everything you read -- the monkey has an infinite number of friends with typewriters.
Exactly!... The Monkey is very important... even if he won't shut up about his foot problems and psoriasis, you can't get the bus map from anywhere else without talking to him.
I see you made it to the Quesadilla operating manual publishing plant in Pittsburgh... the Infinite Monkeys will write several futures for you to chose from if you present them with the Bananas of Perpetual Joy...
I know I saw bananas somewhere... I just don't remember where... I hope I don't have to redo the whole dumpster in back of the 7-11 level... that whole part with the Racoon Dumpster Dance Party is so confusing and involves too much math.
But, there is a trap involved when you talk to the monkey... after you defeat the giant squid in the upstairs bathroom, the monkey will tell you "You are good at evading traps" and will give you a finger trap puzzle... you'll need to give that to the librarian at the zoo so he can't dial security for when you free the herd of Elvis impersonators... that's probably what people were alluding to.
Looking back on the past several posts... I think it's a good thing I didn't get into writing video game stories like I once wanted to...
Technically his name is Chico and he's a Chupacabahihuahua...
"We don't know any way of interacting with the outside universe without incurring a loss. No way of inputting or outputting data. If you want to remain lossless, you have to seal yourself off, in a kind of substrate...But then, nothing significant is going to change, ever again. So what is the use of perception?"
Time - Stephen Baxter
I guess we're back to jpeg's.