The [Disco Chives] Misplaced Parrot Complaint Thread
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A really good backhoe could easily get you down a few hundred feet. And with effort, a couple thousand. Then you can try to keep going with other tools as necessary, but watch out when you reach the mantle, it might ooze faster than you can run if you don't line the shaft well enough.
And don't forget your reflective anti-heat suit.
Also, you'll need a really good chisel once you reach the solid iron core parts. After that though, it's just more of the same, but in reverse. Happy digging.
A further suggestion would be to, carve a staircase along the sides of the shaft to make those 4000 mile trips to the top, to dump the rock, lava, and iron, a bit easier. Professionalism shows.
Although one advantage of working in the core of the earth, is that any huge chunk of iron that you free from the core would be weightless and could be easily shifted up the shaft a ways. Unfortunately, the closer it gets to the surface, the heavier it will get, so don't chip out blocks bigger than you can carry up a 4000 mile stairway.
Public Service Announcement # 67512
Bigfoot and Black Bears.
So today I read an article at Ars Technica, with the headline: "Study finds bigfoot sightings correlate with black bear populations... The big conclusion: "If bigfoot is there, it could be a bear.""....
The article explained something about how Bigfoots were probably black bears (or possibly other random bears because people are stupid) because everywhere they find evidence of Bigfootian activity, there is a sizable population of black bears or black bear activity or black bears recently bought a house or condominium.
To be honest the article had a lot of words so I just skimmed it and randomly, but highly accurately came to my own conclusion about what they were trying to inform people about... which I believe, is this:
HOLY HELL, PANIC LIKE A COKED UP CHIHUAHUA ON METH... BECAUSE BIGFOOT IS RAISING AN ARMY OF BLACK BEARS!!
I know you are probably thinking that I'm just jumping to conclusions, but this is 2024 and I'm pretty sure that we as a society have matured to the point that we can accurately jump to conclusions and still maintain mass panic and an ambient level of healthy paranoia that will build a more cohesive civilization based on pandemonium and conspiratorial conjecture.
What are we as a society if we don't jump to conclusions?
Logical?... Pffft.
But I digress...
Bigfoot is amassing an army of black bears to overthrow mankind and there's probably nothing we can do about it because we don't even believe Bigfoot exists...
I personally believe Bigfoot exists because Jack-Links Beef Jerky company has a Sasquatch as their spokesperson and is run by Sasquatches and Sasquatches are related to Bigfoot...
I'm not entirely sure about the mechanics of whole heredity thing or if it's just different cultural branches of Bigfootians or if Bigfoot is like a surname or something... the article isn't very helpful with that because it seems like it's just trying to get you to believe that Bigfoot isn't real and people are so stupid they keep mistaking various bears for Bigfoots... which I find very suspicious because the Author's name is "John Yeti Sasquatchison"...
Who calls themselves "John"?...
Yeah, exactly... Bigfoots.
It's like the most common name amongst forest based man-apes after "Jacob" and "Gertrude"...
That whole kid's song "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt" was about a Bigfoot...
I don't know when they changed it to "Jingleheimer" but if you see the original sheet music it clearly says "Sasquatchenheimer"... and the original lyrics are very revealing too... "John Ja - cob Sasquatchenheimer Schmidt... His name is Bigfoot too!... Whenever We go out, people always shout (Aaaaaaaah!), John Ja - cob Sas-quatchen- heimer Schmidt..."
As I understand, kids were supposed to keep repeating those lyrics until they passed out or something, because back in the 19th century children were viewed as a parasitic nuisance that needed to be kept in check through scary fairy tales and mesmerizing, mind numbing chants.
But I digress... you should go back to panicking right now...
PANIC!
Well, maybe stretch a little before you panic, it's good to loosen up a little before you run around screaming in fear.
I mean not if you are being confronted by an angry grizzly bear... that will waste precious time that could be better spent peeing in your pants or crying.
Anyway, the article which I didn't really read all that much of, said something about how there are states that don't have breeding populations of black bears (which sounds a little too personal and voyeuristic to me), that still have Bigfoot sightings... Hawaii apparently has loads of Bigfoot sightings at all the major hotels and tourist locations, leading me to believe that while Bigfoot and bears may be working together, they don't vacation together.
Which shows me the hierarchy of employment...
The Bigfoots are the ones at the top and the bears are their minions.
Actually, I'm starting to think they may be orchestrating the Orcas that sank that aircraft carrier a while back, the moose who trampled a guy on the # 6 Train in NYC, those eagles in Texas who were dropping snakes on people... and definitely the murder otters who tried to drown that guy in a California lake, not to mention the ones who've been stealing surfboards in California...
I'm pretty sure they are behind all the Sharknados and the whole ninja penguin peanut butter conspiracy too...
I'm going to provide some links to back that all up too... they'll be at the bottom so you can skip to them right now if you want... or ignore them blissfully and just assume they are some sort of Rick Roll nonsense I'm up to, or go back to them later when you've forgotten what the hell this is about... technically you probably stopped reading this long ago so that's all a moot point.
Anyway... I couldn't find the article where they arrested the Orca involved in the aircraft carrier which was technically an amphibious assault ship, the subway moose was probably something I made up, so I linked to an actual moose attack that was probably about a gambling debt, and I didn't know there was a band called The Otters, so I included that too... I was going to add Pizza Rat also, but I'm not sure if he's involved in this at the moment... but it's all down there at the bottom so knock yourself out... it's definitely better than continuing to read this.
But back to the article... which if I'm not entirely delusional, I last left off at vacationing Bigfoots...
You see, according to what (I'm totally guessing) the article was trying to convince us of, black bears are actually pretending to be Bigfoots so they can collect royalties from the History Channel and the Discovery Network for all those "Bigfoot is Real" documentaries... in addition to money they receive through grants to various Sasquatch oriented charities.
Personally I'm very suspicious of all these clothing donations bins that have been popping up for scammy organizations like "Worldwide Yeti Foundation ", "Sasquatches of Hope" and "Habitats For Rugaru International"... especially that last one which is such an obscure Ojibway name for what amounts to your basic run of the mill Bigfoot.
But as far as bears trying to trick us, I'm not buying that... bears just want your picnic baskets and cocaine...
What are they going to do with your clothes?... They hardly ever even wear pants... maybe a cute little tie and a weird green fedora, sometimes just a short red t-shirt... whatever...
They just ain't into clothes... granted they could be reselling it to foreign used clothing traders in exchange for money to buy their cocaine, but bears aren't that complicated, which is why they usually just maul you if you try to hug them.
Which you really shouldn't.
Anyway... go back to panicking, it's not even really important if it's about any of this Bigfoot stuff... it's just very important to live in fear and mistrust of pretty much everything...
But not me though... I wouldn't steer you wrong...
Which is why I'm offering a limited edition "Bigfoot and the Army of Bears" Commemorative Virtual Gold Coin (CVGC)...
This stunningly handcrafted CVGC is totally non-fungal and made of a 100% vegan, biodegradable link that will instantly vanish without any harm to the environment or stray kittens... additionally if you don't buy one now six red panda will die of mysterious causes...
What's A CVGC?...
A CVGC is a brand new concept in the field of Financial Extraction and Appropriation Management, traditional methods of FEAM have required much more complicated methods to extract fungible assets from entrenched individual accounts within financial establishments.
With CVGCs you can assert your financial rights and refute supposedly expert advice to the contrary and invest your hard earned savings on Subpansive High Grade Nullcapital virtual coins whose speculative value is astronomically antithetically retrograde to the market index of Virtual Specious Currencies.
This highly transparent cutting edge approach, turns traditional methods of financial extraction and appropriation techniques upside down and allows savvy investors to engage in instant personal capital divestiture.
This limited time offer isn't just for billionaires, it's available almost exclusively to novice investors... all for the low, low, low cost of 695 monthly payments of $1...
Or was that 1 monthly payment of $695... whatever, just give me money.
I really need it, money is fun to have and you can spend it on neat stuff like food and car repairs.
Either way remember to stretch before you panic and stay hydrated or you'll probably catch on fire if you get too dried out or something like that.
The part with the links...
The Orcas:
Sailor Framed by Orcas
I didn't make up the ship
The Moose:
Not on a subway but close enough...
I forgot what this one is about...
The Eagles:
Eagles and snakes working together
Additional eagle information
The Otters:
Murder Otters attack
Surfboard thieving otter update
Stuff you should know about The Otters
Bigfoot Stuff:
Original Bigfoot and bears article I skimmed through...
Bigfoot is real according some guy
Washington state officially loves Sasquatch
McGyver makes a number of good points here -- probably not a positive number, certainly not a rational number, definitely a complex number and likely an imaginary number. But I think the key thing we learn reading this post, other than how much free time we have on our hands, is the importance of jumping to conclusions. If we just amble toward conclusions we'll never get anything done, and two hands in the pot is better than a partridge in a pear tree (I think I got that axiom wrong, but you get my drift). Speaking of which, drifting toward conclusions is even slower than ambling. But really, even sauntering toward conclusions isn't really fast enough. I mean, think about a grid search, the kind that military people and police officers are always doing on TV. That way they cover the entire area, virtually guaranteeing that they'll find whoever or whatever they're looking for several minutes before the closing credits. I'm sure jumping would be even faster. What if you were ambling or sauntering toward conclusions and missed all those potential conclusions in the vast Cartesian tableau all around you? There could be a conclusion right behind you!
And do think seriously about McGyver's generous offer of a virtual something in exchange for physical currency. I can't remember what he was offering exactly, and reading his post again would waste valuable jumping time, but I'm sure it's a sound investment, or maybe a silent investment. Let me know whether it makes a sound. What were you going to be spending the money on anyway? Food? Clothing? Shelter? As McGyver already noted, probably, the black bears are just waiting for you to buy that stuff so they can steal it. Although buying a good pair of sneakers isn't a bad idea, not that you could outrun a Bigfoot, even if your own feet happen to be on the large side, but they'll help with the jumping to conclusions, which is a fine aerobic exercise. Probably.
non complaint.
....finally got back up to normal here on Wednesday 51°(F) and even warmer today (55°F). After over a week below or near freezing it felt downright balmy.
A week ago Saturday our daytime high temperature was 14°F. which is extremely cold for Portland. With wind gusts between 40 - 50 mph most of the day it felt more like -10 to -11°F.
@McGuyver: Those links, though...
yeah, I read the WHOLE thing. lol
I had a similar experience when I got my first Android phone. I used the Google Maps "streetview". It shows you the view of a street and you can scroll through it in kind of a first person view, going almost any direction you want. I used it to stroll down the streets in front of the Eiffel Tower, Taj Mahal, ex-lover's neighborhood, whatever. It was kind of a great feeling.
DAZ after months just suddenly decided to sign me out
The same thing happened to me after my last post. Maybe it's a glitch in the Matrix.
I was going to go on a full rant about how Black people have to take what roles they can get if they want to work in that industry, and it isn't exactly fair to criticise them for the way they are portrayed in an industry they have little control over. But it would take a lot of time and energy and I think I'd rather focus on...
I seem to recall a somber warning that if we didn't focus heavily on orangutans, something pretty bad would happen to the space/time continuum or whatever. And here we are. Nobody knows how to spell Berenstain. And the person who delivered that warning only speaks the truth about bears, pork chops, and death turkeys, which apparenty are all a big part of the future.
Our cold snap was just ice, nothing but ice.
They had to, Elvis was entering the building? Glitch in the Matrix? Your login-time clock rolled over? They hate you? You fell through the cracks? Someone goofed? Or possibly the server finally needed rebooting?
the hamster coughed up a hairball that jammed the wheel for a moment
Had to sign in again virtually every new page I looked at for about 15 minutes there. Same time as another forum I visit disappeared from the net due to the domaine name expiring.
Regards,
Richard
Complaint: before the end of last year, my neighbor had his tree cut down. The workers poked a hole in my privacy fence. I have been fighting with the company to replace one panel in a section of a 15,000-dollar fence, but I have heard nothing. I called and talked to people, and one even came out, but nothing was done. Today, I come home from a doctor's appointment, and they are there blocking my drive. Are they here to fix my fence? No, they are trimming my other neighbor's tree. I went off about them blocking the drive and not fixing my fence, then felt like a douche·bag; these were not the ones who I needed to yell at, So I called the ones I needed to yell at again.
While complaining, the hamsters were getting worn out, and I kept getting host errors from the forums trying to write this mess.
Nobody can find them, because they're (g)host errors.
Some back gardens are not like yours.
Before my previous neighbor broke my lawnmover, his son had dug a pretty big hole in there and then filled it up. They said it was a dog, but...
I shouldn't laugh but . . . wiping eyes.
My only suggestion is a show called Undone, starring one of my variants, Rosa Salazar. It was on Amazon Prime. I don't know if it's your type of show but I found it oddly relatable and well done. Of course, I find any show, about a woman everybody thinks is crazy, to be relatable.
Complaint :Short lives of fur babies .......my fur baby just passed away this afternoon ,she was 18 years old ,but still itwas too soon ......
Very sorry to read that, it is always hard to lose them.
Sorry to hear of your loss... I still miss my cat and my dog... they are all just furry little people who are hard to forget and the short time they are with us is too short.
Don't feel bad... every time someone within three houses of mine has any tree service visit them, the idiots have to park all their equipment in front of my house and most of the time block not one driveway, but both... TF... not to mention the guys last year who chipped up a tree in front of my driveway from two houses down and were getting ready to leave a huge mess there when they were done... I may have seemed a little perturbed when I "nicely" asked them to clean that up before leaving... I can't speak for your situation, how much room they had to work with, but it's generally a thing good contractors know not to do (driveway blocking).
It's always too soon. We adopt and rescue both cats and dogs, and no matter how hard we brace ourselves for the painful truth, the truth is it never gets less painful for us, especially aftyer their pain has ended. We lost several fur babies last year. Two dogs and three cats. Been guilty of being selfish and holding on too long, no matter what the vet bills cost. That final day and the day after, is never a thing we animal lovers are truly ready for. Heart breaking-crushing. Takes your breath away. Leaves a huge hole in your heart and a lump in your throat. I also have been guilty of rescuing another just when after I said, "That's it, no more,." just to ease the pain and often it does. Seeing another life saved somehow makes it seem semi-worthwhile.
you had her for 18 years, that is a huge part of your life so of course it's too soon
I still grieve cats from years ago, I wish we could keep them all
Sorry for your loss. They bring us many years of joy but the hardest part of having a pet is when they pass away.
BTW: Did you find the cause of your water pump problem and get it resolved?
My condolences -- it'll be four years in a few weeks since we lost our fourth, and it still feels so weird not having any cats around. He was 22.
Complaint: I've fallen and I can't get up (not right away, at least) -- I was walking to the car to pick up my mom, my phone rang, and I managed to drop it and also fall on the grass. Couldn't get up, even with my cane. Eventually I crawled across the sidewalk onto the lawn and to the car, and with cane and car for support I was able to get up.
Sorry for you loss.
as far as the water pump issue, it warmed up that day enough that by 4pm I was able to flip the breaker on and it didn't flip back off,made sure to leave a facuet running at night so it didn't freeze up again,am adding a heating blanket or lamp to the "to-do" list.Thank you for remembering that though .