The [Disco Chives] Misplaced Parrot Complaint Thread

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  • McGyverMcGyver Posts: 7,050

    WendyLuvsCatz said:

    as long as he doesn't scratch his bum and make you lick his finger

    that would be a SuperVillian

    Thats his signature move... well, his clone... the real Mister Sánchez is a refined and dignified, evil Murder Monkey... 

  • LeatherGryphonLeatherGryphon Posts: 11,506
    edited February 5

    'Tain't what it sez 'tis:  I was looking for hollow glass rods, and Amazon found these when I typed "glass pipes".  Yeah, yeah, I realize my mistake now, but look carefully at the text.surprise

    GlassPipe.png
    293 x 519 - 141K
    GlassPipe2.png
    289 x 520 - 147K
    Post edited by LeatherGryphon on
  • GordigGordig Posts: 10,053

    McGyver said:

    Gordig said:

    Wife and I watched four Hellraiser movies today, so we've now watched a total of six together. #5 was interesting because it was, by a wide margin, the best actual movie. It's mostly just a gritty detective story which the producers had to occasionally remind the director was supposed to be a Hellraiser movie. Of course, people don't watch Hellraiser movies for interesting storytelling and a well-thought-out plot, so it ended up being kind of a bad Hellraiser movie. By contrast, #3 was easily the worst of the movies, but it was a decent Hellraiser movie.

    There were six Hellraiser movies?... I knew there were at least two... 

    There are eleven, the most recent of which came out in 2022. Twelve Friday the 13th, thirteen Halloween, nine Nightmare on Elm Street, nine Texas Chainsaw Massacre....horror franchises may only be in the broader public consciousness for a couple movies, but they tend to just keep going in ways that non-horror movies almost never do, at least before everything became a cinematic universe. 

  • NylonGirlNylonGirl Posts: 1,809

    Gordig said:

    McGyver said:

    Gordig said:

    Wife and I watched four Hellraiser movies today, so we've now watched a total of six together. #5 was interesting because it was, by a wide margin, the best actual movie. It's mostly just a gritty detective story which the producers had to occasionally remind the director was supposed to be a Hellraiser movie. Of course, people don't watch Hellraiser movies for interesting storytelling and a well-thought-out plot, so it ended up being kind of a bad Hellraiser movie. By contrast, #3 was easily the worst of the movies, but it was a decent Hellraiser movie.

    There were six Hellraiser movies?... I knew there were at least two... 

    There are eleven, the most recent of which came out in 2022. Twelve Friday the 13th, thirteen Halloween, nine Nightmare on Elm Street, nine Texas Chainsaw Massacre....horror franchises may only be in the broader public consciousness for a couple movies, but they tend to just keep going in ways that non-horror movies almost never do, at least before everything became a cinematic universe. 

    Perhaps we all live in some kind of DAZ cinematic universe... one in which crazy monkeys control everything and there are pork chops you pay for but can't eat. And if you take the pill of a certain color, you can actually see all of the monkeys typing. But you can't get that color because the texture is sold separately...

  • WendyLuvsCatzWendyLuvsCatz Posts: 38,206

    LeatherGryphon said:

    'Tain't what it sez 'tis:  I was looking for hollow glass rods, and Amazon found these when I typed "glass pipes".  Yeah, yeah, I realize my mistake now, but look carefully at the text.surprise

    not what it's cracked up to be? Depends on your cooking method I guess.

  • Sfariah DSfariah D Posts: 26,262

    I don't think I messaged it earlier, but something happened to a guy who goes to my day program.  He passed in his sleep recently.  I am trying to make a sympahy card for his family.

  • McGyverMcGyver Posts: 7,050

    Sfariah D said:

    I don't think I messaged it earlier, but something happened to a guy who goes to my day program.  He passed in his sleep recently.  I am trying to make a sympahy card for his family.

    Sorry to hear that... I hope you are okay if you knew him or were friends.

  • Sfariah DSfariah D Posts: 26,262

    McGyver said:

    Sfariah D said:

    I don't think I messaged it earlier, but something happened to a guy who goes to my day program.  He passed in his sleep recently.  I am trying to make a sympahy card for his family.

    Sorry to hear that... I hope you are okay if you knew him or were friends.

    Thank you.  I knew him and was a friend of him. 

  • DiomedeDiomede Posts: 15,169

    Condolences.. Blessings to family and friends.

  • Sfariah DSfariah D Posts: 26,262

    Diomede said:

    Condolences.. Blessings to family and friends.

    Thank you! 

  • McGyverMcGyver Posts: 7,050

    So quick question... Coconut water shouldn't taste like genshu saké and the inside shouldn't be pinkish-brown and slimy?

    It's one of those "fresh" young coconuts that you stick a straw into and drink the liquid and then can eat the contents.

    I didn't eat the contents... 

    Well, the moral of this story is I'm stupid and don't continue to drink stuff that doesn't seem to taste the way you know it should taste.

    Also, if you don't hear from me for a while, you know why.

     

  • WendyLuvsCatzWendyLuvsCatz Posts: 38,206

    might have fermented

  • KinichKinich Posts: 878

    That's not a coconut, it's an alien egg, you have quite possibly swallowed an alien embryo, not sure what type exactly, but if it passed through a straw it would suggest it's actually multiple embryos of a swarm type alien rather than the big eat you whole type but there's a good chance that it/they are still viable and growing inside of you. But at least as the human race is dying out following the inevitable alien invasion/feast we few will know who 'patient zero' was.

    Of course I could be wrong and it might well be a dodgy coconut but in either case I don't think the result is going to be pretty, remember drink plenty of fluids, and keep your sugar and salt intake up.

  • AgitatedRiotAgitatedRiot Posts: 4,437

    McGyver said:

    So quick question... Coconut water shouldn't taste like genshu saké and the inside shouldn't be pinkish-brown and slimy?

    It's one of those "fresh" young coconuts that you stick a straw into and drink the liquid and then can eat the contents.

    I didn't eat the contents... 

    Well, the moral of this story is I'm stupid and don't continue to drink stuff that doesn't seem to taste the way you know it should taste.

    Also, if you don't hear from me for a while, you know why.

     

  • WendyLuvsCatzWendyLuvsCatz Posts: 38,206

    another of my standard roses snapped off at the base

    I suspect next door but cannot prove it

  • McGyverMcGyver Posts: 7,050

    I'm starting to think there's something wrong with Stupid Blueberry...

    He's not as coherent as he used to be either... keeps taking about reverse mortgages and crypto currency... 

  • McGyverMcGyver Posts: 7,050

    Kinich said:

    That's not a coconut, it's an alien egg, you have quite possibly swallowed an alien embryo, not sure what type exactly, but if it passed through a straw it would suggest it's actually multiple embryos of a swarm type alien rather than the big eat you whole type but there's a good chance that it/they are still viable and growing inside of you. But at least as the human race is dying out following the inevitable alien invasion/feast we few will know who 'patient zero' was.

    Of course I could be wrong and it might well be a dodgy coconut but in either case I don't think the result is going to be pretty, remember drink plenty of fluids, and keep your sugar and salt intake up.

    Damn it... that makes sense... I stored the stupid coconuts and the alien eggs in the wrong bins... Megh, wouldn't be the first time I've had an alien infestation... I actually feel bad for them... my guts are really not the best environment for growing xenomorphs... especially after what I ate for lunch... 

    How many years expired is a good cutoff for a frozen Jamaican Beef Patty?... four or five years shouldn't be that bad... right?

  • Sfariah DSfariah D Posts: 26,262

    Can I go to bed?  I am getting sleepy?  so can I sleep now?

  • fixmypcmikefixmypcmike Posts: 19,583

    Sfariah D said:

    Can I go to bed?  I am getting sleepy?  so can I sleep now?

    You MAY sleep now .  Whether you CAN sleep is anyone's guess.

  • KinichKinich Posts: 878

    McGyver said:

    Kinich said:

    That's not a coconut, it's an alien egg, you have quite possibly swallowed an alien embryo, not sure what type exactly, but if it passed through a straw it would suggest it's actually multiple embryos of a swarm type alien rather than the big eat you whole type but there's a good chance that it/they are still viable and growing inside of you. But at least as the human race is dying out following the inevitable alien invasion/feast we few will know who 'patient zero' was.

    Of course I could be wrong and it might well be a dodgy coconut but in either case I don't think the result is going to be pretty, remember drink plenty of fluids, and keep your sugar and salt intake up.

    Damn it... that makes sense... I stored the stupid coconuts and the alien eggs in the wrong bins... Megh, wouldn't be the first time I've had an alien infestation... I actually feel bad for them... my guts are really not the best environment for growing xenomorphs... especially after what I ate for lunch... 

    How many years expired is a good cutoff for a frozen Jamaican Beef Patty?... four or five years shouldn't be that bad... right?

    Depends on how much of a jerk it is, the more jerk the longer it will last, something to do with stuffing it full of scotch bonnets helps the meat last longer, though you have to make sure you wash your hands thoroughly after handling the meat as the scotch bonnets can cause a slight stinging sensation if you're not careful. The good news is many aliens are severely allergic to capsicums and can explode on contact, of course what that means if the contact happens inside your own digestive tract I don't know, but it might explain why the Carabean Islands produce so many world class sprinters.

    Oh and try to avoid naked flames, there was a documentary about the consequences of that sort of mishap a few years ago called Thunderpants.

  • You guys are exactly what I needed to wake up to.

  • GordigGordig Posts: 10,053

    That moment when the program crashes and you think "Oh God, I hope I saved more recently than I think I did".

  • Kinich said:

    McGyver said:

    Kinich said:

    That's not a coconut, it's an alien egg, you have quite possibly swallowed an alien embryo, not sure what type exactly, but if it passed through a straw it would suggest it's actually multiple embryos of a swarm type alien rather than the big eat you whole type but there's a good chance that it/they are still viable and growing inside of you. But at least as the human race is dying out following the inevitable alien invasion/feast we few will know who 'patient zero' was.

    Of course I could be wrong and it might well be a dodgy coconut but in either case I don't think the result is going to be pretty, remember drink plenty of fluids, and keep your sugar and salt intake up.

    Damn it... that makes sense... I stored the stupid coconuts and the alien eggs in the wrong bins... Megh, wouldn't be the first time I've had an alien infestation... I actually feel bad for them... my guts are really not the best environment for growing xenomorphs... especially after what I ate for lunch... 

    How many years expired is a good cutoff for a frozen Jamaican Beef Patty?... four or five years shouldn't be that bad... right?

    Depends on how much of a jerk it is, the more jerk the longer it will last, something to do with stuffing it full of scotch bonnets helps the meat last longer, though you have to make sure you wash your hands thoroughly after handling the meat as the scotch bonnets can cause a slight stinging sensation if you're not careful. The good news is many aliens are severely allergic to capsicums and can explode on contact, of course what that means if the contact happens inside your own digestive tract I don't know, but it might explain why the Carabean Islands produce so many world class sprinters.

    Oh and try to avoid naked flames, there was a documentary about the consequences of that sort of mishap a few years ago called Thunderpants.

    Just remember to use the Scotch Bonnet Chilli pepper rather than the Scotch Bonnet fungi (Fairy Ring fungi). It's very easy to get the poisonous version instead of the edible one. That would make your digestion even worse.

    Regards,

    Richard.

     

  • McGyverMcGyver Posts: 7,050

    Pfft... my friend mentioned that his wife bought him a big black bar of trendy soap as a stocking stuffer at Christmas... apparently it's made of charcoal and has all sorts of natural ingredients like charcoal and animal fats and whatnot... it was very expensive and since he's into personal care products he was very appreciative.

    I didn't want to tell him I got a huge twenty pound bag of those from Home Depot at the end of the summer... I think they are called "Kingsford original"... they are a lot smaller and harder, but they are excellent at exfoliating and if you don't rub too hard they won't draw blood... plus you can use them to grill with... They have a nice fresh chimney smell that's very invigorating.

    There's even a lotion too... "Starter Gel"... I suppose it helps you get your day going after you shower in the morning?..
    I use coffee for that though... my coffee will turn over vintage aircraft engines that haven't run in 80 years... but the gel has a nice light petroleum smell with a subtle hint of napalm.

  • McGyverMcGyver Posts: 7,050

    Gordig said:

    That moment when the program crashes and you think "Oh God, I hope I saved more recently than I think I did".

    So... this look?...

  • McGyverMcGyver Posts: 7,050

    Kinich said:

    ...it might well be a dodgy coconut...

    Oh yeah... Dodgy Coconut?

    Yeah... he's very dodgy... can't make eye contact... looks like he hasn't slept... mold stains... I chucked him out in the yard because you can't trust a coconut that looks like that... you never know what they are up to. 

  • NylonGirlNylonGirl Posts: 1,809

    McGyver said:

    I chucked him out in the yard because you can't trust a coconut that looks like that... you never know what they are up to. 

    Probably breeding cute alien hamsters and hoping somebody tries the coconut milk. 

  • McGyverMcGyver Posts: 7,050

    NylonGirl said:

    McGyver said:

    I chucked him out in the yard because you can't trust a coconut that looks like that... you never know what they are up to. 

    Probably breeding cute alien hamsters and hoping somebody tries the coconut milk. 
     

    Thanks... my mind immediately ran off in a random direction, picturing a quasi-sentient coconut alien raising an army of cute (but deadly) alien hamsters... So now that's just one more project to figure out as a scene to illustrate in some manner...

    Or not... I'm so incredibly easily distracted.

  • McGyverMcGyver Posts: 7,050

    I swear to frickin gawd, if you leave people unsupervised for ten seconds, you'll regret it... so last week, the stupid termite prevention service guy was here... unannounced as usual because why let your customers know some nincompoop will be rustling about in your shrubbery... (by the way, I'm not the kind of person who likes being surprised by stuff like that)... so anyway, my wife was home and I had stuff to do and unlike usual, instead of hanging around while he did his job (which I might add they are reeeeeeeeeally bad at), I went out...

    When I got back my wife said something about him not being able find a lot of the bait stations, so he installed a bunch more... something you'd think could be solved by decent record keeping, but instead, they constantly add new stations around the house until the perimeter of the house is one giant mass of overlapping gaudy green plastic bait station lids... An actual competent service guy came one time and was like "you have 28 stations more than you need... What is wrong with the people who come here...?"... he actually found two others off in limbo somewhere when he went to remove them. 

    In general I mark them with little florescent orange flags you can't miss from space... but they virtually never let you know they are coming (and even if they do, they still mis a few), so I have to walk them through the locations... if I don't they install more bait stations... 

    So anyway after my wife said that, I walked around the house to see where he installed these new stations, I only found one, coincidentally and very obviously right next a preexisting one... I was like "whatever", it's a later-me problem...

    So today I went to put some stuff in back of my shop, and I noticed a bait station in the ground... actually all around the shop... and the patio running up to it... the structure is forty feet from the house and is made of those old timey cinder blocks that look like rough cut granite blocks... aside from the roof there is no wood in the structure and there is no mistaking it for a wood structure... also the structure is not included in the contract... in fact if it weren't for a discount on our homeowner insurance, there wouldn't be a friggin contract at all.

    This service has gotten so incredibly bad over the years... the quality and professionalism of the workers, their constant cutting back of service etc... 

    it's so annoying because the dipwad went and put a station in the middle of a small patch of native ferns that inexplicably grow back there and are kinda protected flora... 

    I'm going to have see if they are going to try and change me for twelve additional stations... because that ain't gonna happen.

    Frickin people.

  • LeatherGryphonLeatherGryphon Posts: 11,506

    Ya' jist cain't git good help these days.frown 

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